One night this past February, I found myself laying in the floor trying to sleep in the home of a very influential Islamic boarding school founder. I was trying to sleep but the sweltering Indonesia heat and sticky humidity were making it a tad difficult for me to pass out… even though I was outrageously tired…
As I laid there, I began to have a conversation with the Lord… to be honest I don’t even remember what it was about initially. I had been wrestling with a host of things.. including this lie that my artistic and intellectual contributions to the world were utterly insignificant compared to those of others.
In the midst of the sweating, tossing, turning, and praying the Lord spoke something that blew my mind. He told me that I had a wrong view of my creativity and that for many years I had put any artistic talent that I perceived that I had.. into a box a called it guitar…….I let that sink into my spirit for just a minute….then replied….. Ouch Lord… you mean I’ve been limiting myself basically my entire life because I thought I was only capable of creating or expressing myself in one way?!
That’s when he began to show me that one of His core characteristics is creator.
O Lord, what an amazing variety of all you have created!
Wild and wonderful is this world you have made,
while wisdom was there at your side.
This world is full of so many creatures, yet each belongs to you!
Psalms 104:24 TPT
I spent some time just reflecting on some of the Lord’s masterpieces…… mountains I’ve seen, people I’ve known, animals I’ve encountered.…. Then He reminded me that He had made me in His image (Genesis 1:27). So if I’m made in His image then I must be a creator too.
After I sat in that for a bit the Lord then hit me with a challenge. He said, “I want you to write a spoken word.”
Side note:
When I was much younger, I had written some poetry but most of it was really inappropriate. I distinctly remember having an old notebook in my room around 7th or 8th grade in which I had written poems and lyrics that expressed the way that I felt but many of those feelings were expressed in wildly violent or sexual words. It was a product of the brokenness in my life at that point. The notebook had been found one time and it had been read. I remember it being called trash….. which it was….. but with that in mind I basically shut the door on poetry and most lyrics and stuck pretty much solely to playing the guitar.
Praise the Lord I’m a new creation.
The morning after I received this challenge from the Lord to write a spoken word, I began to write. I ended up stuck to the chair for a couple hours..my pen moving furiously across the sheets of my journal… writing…then scratching out… rearranging… and finally I was done.
After I finished it… I closed my journal and didn’t look at it for days…. I only attempted to practice it out loud one time. Then at the end of that month, stricken with anxiety over how it would be received…. I performed that spoken word in front of the three other members of our squad leader team.
It was a place of deep vulnerability for me to share but it felt so good to get it out.
That’s the background…. Let’s bring it to the present.
As I was staying with the Joyriders (one of the teams on M squad) here in North Africa… we decided to have a poetry slam for a team time. Laura(my co-leader) and I were super stoked that the whole team bought in to the idea of writing poetry and sharing it together one night.
So, when the night came to do the poetry slam, everyone was ready with something or multiple things that they had spent time creating and pouring their hearts in to.
It was a vulnerable place for everyone including myself. Everyone shared and I was blown away by the way the Joyriders display that creator characteristic of the Lord. Some things that were shared were lighthearted and funny while others described struggle and growth and triumph. It was incredible to hear their hearts and to see the freedom that sharing was bringing…. For them
.. and for me….
So, here is me being vulnerable.. hoping that something that has come from my heart will encourage and uplift yours. Below is a youtube file of me performing one of my “words” from that night. I hope you enjoy and that you too are inspired to explore your creator side.
The Lord has been so good to provide the majority of the funds that I need in this season. That being said I’m still about $2700 away from being fully funded for this go around. I am also looking for long term monthly supporters of any amount. If you’re interested in coming alongside me in what the Lord is doing and has in store for the next season hit the donate button and set up either a one time or recurring tax deductible donation.
