“How are you? “
“Good. You?”
“Good. “
Probably the most lame and least jazzy conversation we have with the world. Who actually means what they ask? And who actually responds with how they feel?
But really, how am I? If you care, read on. If you don’t care, read on anyway. You might find something of value in what I recently realized.
Lately I have been so tired. More than your normal jet lag. (Which my body and mind are still confused by) Lately I have been having this unexplainable feeling of nothingness. As if my mind has been emptied and I have nothing left to give unless it’s pried out of me in a robotic interview form. Moments where my mind is in total silence and I am frustrated with myself. Frustrated because I have been inviting the silence rather than letting Jesus speak.
We’re set up with an amazing ministry. One of obvious importance helping flood victims and homeless people. I see thankful hearts everyday and even recently saw a homeless man leaving the center praising God and full of joy, even without anything to his name but his worn out clothing. Plus we still have time to relax and enjoy the city afterwards. And I am enjoying every moment and every smile and everything that comes along with being here. Beautiful colors and patterns on clothes and buildings. Mixing of cultures and languages. The fact that I have been able to eat in new places every day for under $4 USD including ice cream and fresh squeezed juices. Still I have been feeling empty.
So I spoke to God about this tired and drained emotion. What was I missing. How can I have so much joy, and then at the end of the day or half way through have no thoughts at all?
Then He made me realize what was wrong. He spoke. (Yeah. He still does that)
My problem is that I have been pouring myself out. Not Christ. And I have been pouring myself out into the wrong people. I need to first empty myself into Christ then He will fill me in a way that I can naturally overflow into others. I have to give who Jesus is, not who I am. People are going to eventually be unsatisfied with just getting me. They need the Jesus in me. That’s the only thing that matters.
If you have been feeling this blank emotion, I invite you to open up to Jesus. Let go of yourself and be Jesus to people. I bet it makes a difference.
Supporting Verses: Matthew 11:28-30, 16:24-27, John 7: 37-38, Luke 10: 38-42
Prayer Requests:
For the flooded villages to get the help they need. (Which currently donations come in every single day, but they could always use more.)
For our teams here to be making an impact in the best ways possible.
Pouring out of Jesus.
Funding to come in before the final deadline this month.
And finally, this song is AMAZING and goes pretty well with my thoughts, you should check it out
