So here I am sitting in my kitchen, for some reason on an uncomfortable island stool, typing out yet another blog. I breathe in the smell of nothing in the air as I listen to the roar of a dramatically loud lawn mower fading in and out as it smoothly slices through the field of grass. I feel like I have been swallowed and spit up by a whale.
You might ask yourself, what is the point of this blog? Well I am delighted you asked.
It is time for the big reveal. The reason I have … hang on while I go help my mother pull groceries out of the car.. Okay I am back! The reason I have gathered you here today is to make an announcement. Something that happened at training camp that I am totally stoked and nervous for.
For a while now I have felt I wanted to do a little more ministry wise and work with women’s ministry and possibly with women in sex trafficking. I don’t know if it happened after hearing about the end it movement or after seeing a true movie about a women who escaped or hearing about Christine Caine and her ministry or what, but God has placed a burden on my heart for women’s ministry. Maybe it was sparked much sooner than any of this, but point is, I have kind of been running from this idea.
Ever hear about a Kid named Jonah? Homeboy was told by God to go to a certain group of people and he thought, “mmm, better not. I have other plans”, but God was like, “mmm, I’m God, so you’re gonna do it anyway.” Then Jonah gets swallowed by a giant fish and taken over to the people he tried to avoid. You can’t run from God, even if the things you are doing aren’t bad, God still has a better plan.
For a while I pursued Children’s ministry, but I also realized that I used it as an excuse to stay away from women’s ministry. Working with Kids just always seemed simple because all I had to do was tell them a Bible story and play games. They didn’t have all the difficult questions and the thousands of corrupted religious views. They dealt with struggles in their lives, but you didn’t have to confront their issues. I was scared to talk to people my age or older and still scared. Scared of failure, not knowing what to say, and not being good enough, but God is breaking that down day by day and showing me that I am enough and what I don’t know, He will make up for. It isn’t up to me to change hearts or minds so as long as I am obedient, I cannot fail.
At TC I was introduced to a ministry called Beauty for Ashes that works with women and helps them share their shame in order to empower them. I fell in love with the idea. I went to the first session to see what it was about and knew I wanted to be involved. However, that was it. I did not want to be a leader or in charge of anything and I specifically signed a paper and avoided marking the leadership box. Funny isn’t it? Later on in the week there was another session to attend for them, but I decided to let another team mate check it out so that If she wanted to lead it, she could.
Later on in the week I was walking along minding my own business when one of our leaders stopped me and asked if I wanted to be a Beauty for Ashes leader for the squad. “I thought [girls name] wanted to lead, did ya’ll ask her?” Then the leader told me that our mentor thought I should have the spot. So I said, “Okay, I didn’t even mark the box, but I am putting in my yes.” There was no point of taking the whale express anymore, God was going to bring me to his ultimate plan and it will be more beneficial If I just dive right it. At that point I honestly thought I was only asked to be the BFA leader for the team, not the squad of 43 people. . but there God went, being funny again.
So there you have it folks. Here I am, standing on a shore after being spit up by a fish, co-leading with one other girl, the entire squad in women’s ministry. I cannot wait to see God move through me.
(So in conclusion, please pray for me and the Beauty for Ashes leaders to Be completely obedient to the Holy Spirit and that we would seek out and find opportunities to help women through their shame so that God can be known fully in their lives and that nothing we do hinders the work of God.)
