Adventures WorldRace SethBarnes Sponsorship Giving

| by archiveworldraceblogs

What does it mean to finish my world race well?
In the World Race community, wayyy too often I hear the phrase, “You start one season how you finished the last,” and I think that’s bogus, for one; because in every moment you make decisions that determine your experience! But, ya know, if I DID believe that, I’d wanna take my ending of this season quite seriously lol. So to answer the question, for me, finishing my season strong means having a positive attitude, being as present as possible, living vulnerably and openly, noticing others and pursuing them with friendship and encouragement, pushing myself to continue growing, and essentially being my best self that I’ve learned to be this year. It means allowing my strength, joy, and comfort to be found in God.

So far in Rwanda, I’ve had a complete life shift as compared to Ethiopia. In my present state of being, I’m aware of my thoughts and their power over my attitude. I find myself feeling irritation over all the things I can’t control like what or when I eat, the extreme noise levels in the house, at church, and basically everywhere. Having to walk 4-6 miles a day basically, even on off-days it’s at least 2 miles. The cold bucket showers, and orange dust stuck under all my nails. Not sleeping well because of the noise. Being made to dance or sit in the front row of church, and being expected to do many different things that may or may not be outside of my comfort zone. I embrace discomfort, don’t get me wrong. But, I just want a quiet place, some privacy, and more consent; although, that’s not my life. I miss the amazing friendships I’ve made this year, and am struggling to be patient with the language barrier. I am specifically working through how to be more graceful and gentle when trying to communicate with someone who doesn’t speak English well, or who doesn’t understand my crappy accent in their language. The way I get asked 5+ times a day, “Are you okay, are you fine, are you tired?” And honestly, I’ve had allergies since July 3rd. I’ve been taking allergy meds so now it’s turned into mucus in my chest and and still a stuffy nose. I’m not great. Ugh, so how do I thrive in my situation anyway? At debrief, I felt God leading me to share a prayer my sister wrote in the booklet she sent me on the race with. It was an amazing thing to have: “open when” flaps. Under “when you’re discouraged,” there’s this prayer written by the Puritans titled The Valley of Vision; so I shared it with the squad.

 
 
The Valley of Vision
LORD, high and holy, meek and lowly,
Thou hast brought me to the valley of vision,
where I live in the depths but see thee in the heights;
hemmed in by mountains of sin I behold thy glory.
Let me learn by paradox that the way down is the way up,
that to be low is to be high,
that the broken heart is the healed heart,
that the contrite spirit is the rejoicing spirit,
that the repenting soul is the victorious soul,
that to have nothing is to possess all,
that to bear the cross is to wear the crown,
that to give is to receive,
that the valley is the place of vision.
Lord, in the daytime stars can be seen from deepest wells,
and the deeper the wells the brighter thy stars shine;
Let me find thy light in my darkness,
thy life in my death,
thy joy in my sorrow,
thy grace in my sin,
thy riches in my poverty,
thy glory in my valley.
———————
There’s so much wisdom in that prayer. I’m fighting through these annoyances to prosper in my valley. It looks like telling my team all the things and encouraging them to talk about what’s going on with them too. It means pursuing prayer and thankfulness as a team, and individually. I listen to a lot of music on my phone, more than at any other point this year. It means when I’m sick and tired of walking and I am just feeling irritable; I try to give it my all with the thought of preparing for my 90 mile hike in September. It means volunteering to teach the preschool kids instead of doing evangelism, the thing I normally gravitate towards. I am challenging myself to the activity which requires a smile, high energy, creativity, and patience with the language barrier. It means washing my clothes in a bucket and doing my best to stay clean because these are comforts I can choose, whereas I could choose to not try so hard but letting go in some areas like this, for me personally, would encourage other laziness, which I don’t want. It means waking up early enough to feel emotionally and spiritually ready for the day, and maybe drinking my Nescafé because caffeine definitely helps. It means doing my best to not be self-concerned because focusing on others can certainly bring more joy, especially here in Rwanda where simple comforts found in America are extremely uncommon here. My mind will complain about the littlest things like wanting a refrigerator, hating the rocky terrain we walk many miles on because it’s easy to stumble and fall, or hating how I can’t leave my packing cube on the concrete because it’ll smell like mold, etc. If I can just focus on what others are thinking and feeling and be in prayer for others, my own complaints don’t seem to matter so much. I talked to my teammate today who went home to be with her sick family member. When I asked about being back in American life, she told me she’s struggling with hearing how much people complain. Like, “why are you complaining about this petty stuff when people in Africa are starving!?” I know this is definitely going to be hard for me when I go back to America. I’ve found myself getting majorly pissed just reading people’s seemingly normal Facebook statuses. Like, shut up about not finding a matching barstool and being your own interior designer—no one cares!! Quit bragging about what you have and what you eat! Basically people are very self-focused and I am definitely going to need to prepare well for re-entry because I’m not who I was when I left and I honestly don’t know how to process it all. 

So this is me, doing what I can to finish strong and be vulnerable. I’m asking for prayers. Pray for me to find His glory in my valley, how to have grace and patience with people who haven’t had the experiences I have, and for this sickness to leave me. Pray I can find my comfort in Jesus, and continue to run after intimacy with Him. Pray for my team’s unity and endurance because many of them are trudging through or coasting, and that’s not what God wants for us! Pray for wisdom in writing sermons since that’s something we do right now. If you’ve read this, send me a message with your prayer requests too. ??
 
I wrote this about three days ago, and since then, I’ve struggled even worse, and sort of snapped.
But, there’s grace, and I cannot always change my emotions, but I can choose how to respond. 
Anyway, thanks for reading.