This month we are working with Campus Crusades, a big christian organization in the states and internationally. They have a couple different facets but we are focusing on college students in Quito, Ecuador. I worked with the same ministry in month 5 in Vietnam so I was excited to be assigned to do it again with my new team. One of my highlights of this ministry is that our ministry hosts are a group of 6 Americans around the same ages as my team. We are all 23-25, fresh out of college giving full time missions a try. It has been so fun and refreshing to be with missionaries who speak english, understand our culture, our struggles and all we left behind. It has also been such a blast to get to know them and hear their stories from this year and what God has been doing in their life throughout their time in Quito.
I have a lot of respect for the CRU team and their ministry because they are in the same place all year, pioneering a new CRU program on the college campuses here in Quito. As crazy as the World Race is, I sometimes think what they are doing is harder. Yes their amenities, schedule, and stability is much more balanced, but they are starting from scratch. They do raw evangelism every single day to try to find strong Christians or people who want to be strong in their faith to be discipled and start a new community on their college campus. These missionaries have to have the strength and courage to talk to new students everyday to ask them about their faith and following Jesus. This is hard. I already have a hard enough time doing this at home to my close friends, so approaching strangers each day in Spanish is incredibly difficult. I know the Lord is moving in ways they cant even see, but they have not seen much fruit this year and that is such a frustrating feeling as a missionary. (I wrote about this feeling in a previous blog: Am I making a difference?)
I think my biggest struggle in this ministry is not seeing tangible results. We are here to come alongside of them and give them lift by evangelizing with students on campus to get them more contacts and potential members of their CRU community. We are also here to publicize for an upcoming short film festival that they are having on the campus. We have other small tasks but our main ministry is to evangelize. I love getting to know new people, but when it is just the beginning stages in conversation I struggle. When I know I am not going to be the one to pour into these kids, it is hard for me to really have passion in each conversation. I get excited to know that these students will have a group of great Americans and South Americans who can lead them into deep discipleship and community, but I am just the temporary bridge piece.
My first day of ministry was really encouraging and it got me thinking about how important evangelism is. In the past I would have said evangelizing is a pushy way to put your beliefs on others, but my heart has seen a new side to it this year. We live in a shallow culture. A place where vulnerability is seen as a weakness. Conversations are surrounded on gossip, the news, our jobs, and the day to day catch up. It is rare to be asked something intentional. It is rare to share our inner thoughts and struggles. It is rare to really know what people are learning and growing in during a particular season. Evangelism is scary and “pushy” because people don’t want to open their hearts and their minds to something new or deep. People have walls up and the line is drawn to talk about anything past surface level. People often don’t take the time to really think and reflect on what they believe in, or what they are really searching for. So, to immediately jump into a vulnerable conversation and ask about their spiritual life, it is common for people to shut down.
My first day here I went to the park with my team and the CRU staff. We split into groups of two’s and three’s and went to evangelize to strangers. I was with Shaun from Cru and my teammate Matt. We prayed and walked around looking for some people to talk to. I pointed out three young adult girls who were just relaxing and eating together. We sat down and asked if they had 10-15 minutes to do a survey. They said yes. Matt and I laid out a stack of pictures with all different kinds of images, from a baby, to someone stressed, someone hanging out with their friends, a dark alleyway, to nature….. you name it. We asked them a series of questions and told them to pick out two or three photos that described their answer. Some of the questions included:
What pictures describe your life right now?
What desires do you have for your future?
What pictures describe your spiritual life?
What pictures represent your relationship with God? Or How do you view God?
Two of the girls were engaged and one sat out with an extremely upset face. Walls up.
Most answers we got are similar to any young adult American. “I am stressed because of school”. “I want to travel and have a good job”. “I believe in something bigger than me and I am spiritual”. “I go to church with my family sometimes, but I don’t pray or really do much more with God. Or I think God is good but I don’t really understand him and know him”. “I don’t believe in God. I believe in the universe and spiritual energy.”
We had a diverse group of girls that day. To our surprise one girl was extremely strong in her faith. She wanted to be a missionary and felt like she had a strong connection with Jesus. The girl next to her didn’t want to answer. The third girl shared some hard incidents in her life but didn’t know God.
The girls had some really deep and intriguing answers. It was so cool to give these girls a chance to share what they are passionate about and what their life circumstances have led them to believe in. As we wrapped up the pictures Shaun started to share the Gospel and Matt and I interceded for him ( Interceding = we prayed silently while he spoke. I was asking God to open their hearts and ears to really hearing the good news that Shaun was sharing. I was praying for the Holy Spirit to give him words and for the girls to receive his words well. I was also praying for walls to come down.)
Towards the end of our conversation Shaun asked if any of them wanted to accept Jesus in their lives. One girl said YES. AMEN! We asked her some more questions about why she wanted to follow God and shared what it looks like to accept Jesus in your life. Her answer touched my heart.
She said she has pain from her life and wants to give that to Jesus. She said she has seen her friend (who is a strong christian) be transformed by her faith and wants that for her life too.
We prayed with her and got her contact info so they could follow up and help her find a church, disciple her, and get her plugged into christian community. This was an exciting moment for all of us to have another sister in Christ and to see how ready she was to grow in her faith life. I was most touched by the ways she shared how her friends faith and life had such an influence on her, without her friend even knowing it.
To be honest, asking to pray right then and there has always made me feel uncomfortable. Usually I like to create a relationship before I ask if people are really ready to give their heart to Jesus. But she was ready. Somebody just needed to ask.
How many times had her and her friends hung out and she had never heard the Gospel? How many times had her christian friend shared her faith? How many times had she heard about her friends heart for missions and living her life for Jesus? Probably not many.
How many times have I missed the opportunity to give the gift of the Gospel to my close friends and family?
The answer: so many times.
When I accepted Jesus into my life I made the decision to be what the Bible calls a disciple or an apostle. An apostle means “sent one”. My job as a disciple is not to change people’s lives through my words or my ways. My job is to be a messenger. My job is to share. I am sent into the world to declare a message to all kinds of people and to be a living witness to that message. Out of that message is when spiritual community is raised up by the Holy spirit. I share and God does the work. I don’t have a list of who I have “converted”. I don’t get disappointed when people choose not to start following Jesus. I am not upset with the girl who was closed off to sharing. I just have one simple job and that is to share the simple gospel.
I would be lying if I said I was still scared to share with friends and family at home.
Fear of man has trapped me from sharing my beliefs. Fear of being crazy. Fear of being disliked. Fear of rejection.
But I can’t let fear hold be back from bringing the most incredible gift to others. A gift that has changed my life from good to extraordinary. A gift that has allowed me to live in freedom. A gift that just takes a leap of faith, to believe in a God who is bigger than all of us. A God who has a plan for each and every one of us. A God where we don’t have to worry about our own lives because He is in complete control. This is the single greatest thing I have to offer. I can’t wait to keep stepping out in my faith to ask a single question that will change so many lives. “Do you want to believe in Jesus?”
Jesus. His name holds so much power. A man who was sent to earth by God so he could die on a cross for our sins. So we could be forgiven and all our sin, past, regrets, messiness could be completely paid for. A God who comforts, guides, speaks, and loves us more than we could ever fathom. A God who gives us his same spirit, power and authority.
This is the mystery that captured my heart and has changed my life. This is the crazy mystery and revelation that I believe can change the hearts of the whole world. I have seen it this year and I feel so privileged every time I get to see face to face. I am honored to be his messenger, because God does not need me, but he chooses to use me. He wants to use all of us.
So on days where I am feeling discouraged I remember moments like that day in the park. A day that encourages me to keep going and to keep sharing. You never know who is seeking and ready to encounter God’s grace and freedom. I never again want to be the friend who lets the people around me miss out on a life changing opportunity. I never again want to stop asking and sharing with my neighbors, co-workers and even random strangers in the park. It just takes one question, and God will do the rest. A question that could save their life in ways we cant even imagine.
