The cool darkness wraps around me as I try so desperately to fall asleep. The anxious pull at my heart and mind keep my eyelids pried open while my mind is in circles. $1,250 in 15 days to meet my first financial deadline ($5,000). The more I process the warmer my skin starts to feel and the more awake I become. Faith. God kept speaking that word. I kept reminding Him (as if He forgot) that I have been displaying my faith by going on this trip. He called. I answered. Now where are all the funds? Don’t check your financial account until after the deadline. Is this a joke? You’re kidding right?? If you have faith in me who is greater than finances, don’t check your account. At this point I am so awake I could probably go on a 5-mile run, do a Jillian Michaels workout video, all my homework (it’s never ending) and still have energy. My brain is wired. Okay God, is that really you? Please tell me I can check my account once every other week or maybe just once before the deadline? Faith. There that darn word was again! This was the point where I knew what I was feeling was greater than myself and far greater than any plan I have made. Realizing every step of this journey is faith-centered, I took a deep breath with a slow exhale I said, “okay”. Faith.
Faith is believing without seeing. Acting when prompted. And being obedient when led.
He is Jehovah Jireh, the God who provides. It’s in these moments that the Lord washes away the fear, diminishes my doubts, and encourages me to keep pressing toward Him.
