I got baptized
At the beginning of the race, leadership asked us if we have ever been baptized. For me, the answer was no. There were a couple times when I was younger that I was supposed to get baptized, but for one reason or another it always fell through.
I grew up in a Christian home where we went to church every Sunday and Wednesday. I knew about God and how Jesus died on the cross for our sins. They told me He loves me, but I don’t know if I ever fully believed that. The enemy had told me so many lies about why the Lord couldn’t love me. I tried to tell myself that this was true but it was hard. Some days I believed it and other days I did not.
I was living a life trying to do the “right” things all the time. You know, the ones our parents tell us as we grow up. The older you get the more things change. I was raised with this guideline of what was right and what was wrong. And I thank my parents for these guidelines and I know they helped shape the person I am today.
There was a period though where I really struggled. I struggled with not knowing who I was or where I was going with my life. So many things were running through my head all the time. I was starting to go down this path God clearly didn’t write for me. I began drinking every weekend and honestly just stopped caring. I stopped caring about myself and trying to always be perfect. I was trying to make it through life by myself. It seemed like anyone I would let in my life would fail me so why should I let anyone in to try and help me? I was too scared to even let my family into certain areas of my life, afraid I would be disappointed or even worse, they would be disappointed in me. I wanted a relationship with God but at the time I was sure He was probably disappointed in me as well. So I even shut Him out. I’d try to learn more and grow in my faith, but I never fully let down those walls to let Him in or to even take the time to listen.
Well, after living this life of not caring, I hit rock bottom. One night I got to a point of drinking so much that I blacked out. And that was my turning point. Some say that we should never get to the point of rock bottom. And yeah if we were doing it right we shouldn’t. However, we are human and that’s not always the case. I admit I made mistakes and I went too far. But, that night was the turning point for me. I had to hit rock bottom so I could find the realization that the only other way was up. Getting to the top was through the Lord and having a relationship with Him.
Now, I am living this life completely dedicated to the Lord. This life I am living is not my own, but His. He has planned a specific plan for my life and I plan to follow each step He places in front of me. The entire time I was doing life on my own, He was sitting back waiting for me to run back into His arms.
I am so overwhelmed with joy and happiness because I choose the better path. And in declaration of that I decided to get baptized. For me this baptism meant that I have fully given up my life and laid it at the feet of Jesus. I will take everything to the Lord. And any and every decision for my life will be His answer and not my own. I’m trusting completely and fully in the plans He has for me. I trust in the answers He provides to each of my questions that I have for Him. He has shown me so much love and grace. And as a bride and groom dedicate their lives to each other, I now dedicate mine to the Lord. Forever He will be my one and the one I go to in all the areas of my life, sad or joyous.
On March 22 2018, I was baptized and that significant moment represents the “marriage” and dedication I have declared to God. The one I will forever love and who will forever love me. Through the highs and lows and through the thick and thin in my life, I know He’ll be there always picking me back up!
