Part 2, read previous blog for part 1.
With all that being said, from the age of six (that’s from when I could remember) until the age of twelve I was sexually molested. (I am choosing not to tell you who it is because I have forgiven this person). Yes that was my reality, and in those moments I was filled with fear and all control was taken from me but I choose to continue to see ALL the good, I choose to see the love I had in friends, I choose to see the amazing father I had who did his best to be the best father he knew to be to me, who told me and showed me how much he loved me with all his heart and soul.
So there it is, the dark side of my story, that I never shared with you or anyone except the family I am traveling with. I am not telling you this for you to hurt, not for you to place blame, not for you to think that you did anything wrong, not for you to blame daddy because it was not his fault or ANYONE fault. I honestly don’t think this could have been prevented. I know believe that this had to be a part of my story in order for me to be the woman of God that I am today.
I have forgiven the person and my pray is for you to do the same.
I am telling you this because I want our relationship to be a relationship where I can tell you EVERYTHING , a relationship where I feel safe to come to you with my feelings and know that you will take care of them by listening and being a mother that is gentle and caring. Our family needs to be release from this bondage of not speaking out in truth, we need to stop hidding behind lies and hurt. It’s time that we speak about truth, it’s time we speak truth into how much pain and hurt we are all really in, instead of hidding behind this fake image of strength. Being strong doesn’t mean you have everything under control, being strong means you speak out truth and invite the right people into your life to help you heal, forgive, love, laugh and live a life fill with purpose.
There it is, my broken chains that I have been holding on to in fear of causing you hurt and chaos to the family. Mommy, I love you and you are the best mother that I could ever have. You have taught not to base my decisions on what others are saying but on what God is saying. You have taught me how to move on after you have lost everything, you have taught me that no matter how much money is in my bank account or wallet, that I am rich because I have the Jesus and a life with Him is worth more than any amount of money in this galaxy. You have taught me to be honest with myself and others so I am taking this leap of faith and sharing my story with you and praying that you give it to God and let Him walk you through it, the same way He walked me through it.
I love you sooo much and thank you for being the best mommy this girl would ever pray for.
