Hello lovely people! I asked my mom to write a pre PVT (parent vision trip) blog sharing her emotions and what not! She will be leaving Tennessee in about a week and I am so so excited to see her! Please read and share this vulnerable blog written by none other than my mommy!
How do I feel getting ready to go off to PVT?? WOW that is a question with many answers and emotions.
• First of all the most important emotion I am feeling is happiness. I am so ecstatic that I get to actually see and touch my baby. That might sound weird but just to see that she is truly OK will make me feel relieved. I know I see her all the time via phone but its different just seeing her in the flesh. So I am feeling happy that I get to see her and hug her. I imagine that I will probably just stare at her and re-memorize her smile, (LOL even her fake attitude smile she used for dances), re-memorize the way her eyes squelches up when she laughs, her cute little dimples with her pinch me cheeks, her hair sticking up no matter how she has it fixed (1/2 up ½ down, in a ponytail or in a bun), her wrinkle in her forehead when she is making the O lips but most of all I want to hear and soak in her laugh. She will probably not want me to hug all over her but I know that I will. J Oh how I have missed my baby girl.
• Anxiety would be my next emotion. There are a lot of things that has happened since she’s been gone and I feel like I am going to be filling her in on everything. Some of it is good and some not so good and I know it is things I need to share so I’m praying that the LORD uses my communication in the right ways.
• Worry (don’t judge me and yes I Peter 5:7 is my go to verse) but I am trying to be completely honest here. I guess I am worried about the crazy things. Will I be dressed appropriately? Will I be kicked out of India if I’m dressed wrong?
What if I can’t keep up? I mean I am one of the older Mom’s amongst Niki’s friends. I feel so out of shape here lately anyway and I worry that Niki will be expecting me to walk miles a day and not understand that during the time she’s been gone I have aged more. J I am physically not capable of doing some activities. (even worst what if I embarrass her?) Ekkkk
What if I get sick from the food? I’m not a spicy eater anyway and if I’m sick I may miss time with her and I do not want to miss a second.
I’m traveling alone so I’m thinking crazy (yes I am going to admit here they are crazy thoughts) but what if I get lost, what if I can’t get to my hotel? What if no one understands me? (I told you it’s crazy thoughts)
And seriously this one may be funny but it is a serious legit struggle for me. I cannot lift my crazy luggage? How in the world did this little bag quadruple its weight with just a few clothes and shoes?? Geez ~ what if I can’t get it in the overhead bin and I’m traveling alone? What if no one helps me because I am a crazy old American woman? LOL
Then I go deeper in thinking of this PVT and I know that I am going to be overflowing with being so proud of Niki and how much she has grown. I feel like I have grown leaps and bounds too but I think will it show? Will she know how much this time away from her knowing that she has been diving into the word and living so unselfishly has affected me? Will she realize that her Mom loves the LORD but still needs to grow too?
• Blessed is another emotion. Let’s face it nothing was going to keep me from taking this opportunity. Yes I am not a great traveler when it comes to flights and I’m terrible with getting acclimated to different time zones and don’t get me started on the claustrophobic moments of being on a plane, bus, etc. I feel so blessed to get to go see my baby. I am so ecstatic about hearing all of the adventures she’s had and to just bask in the things that the LORD has showed her and her team. Being able to support her to do this journey between college and the next phase of her life has meant more than I thought imaginable. Having the support of so many that are following us by the monthly newsletter and the follow up calls and hugs has been nothing but the extended feet and hands of Christ. Someone commented me the other day and said that it spoke volumes that I raised a daughter that was willing to step out and share the gospel with so many and I responded by saying No it speaks volumes that the LORD chose me to be her Mama and that HE was with us raising her even through all the times I messed up.
• So if you ask me the pre PVT jitters, anxieties, worries and overflowing emotions of love and being proud will get me through those little things because to me the big thing will be that first hug. I can’t wait to hug my baby. Warning: I will cry!! I will ugly cry but it doesn’t matter as long as she’s in my arms.
Niki’s Mom
