I was listening to my worship playlist the other day while I was at work. One song started playing and I heard these lyrics:
I could hold on
I could hold on to who I am and never let You
Change me from the inside
And I could be safe
I could be safe here in Your arms and never leave home
Never let these walls down
But You have called me higher
You have called me deeper
And I’ll go where You will lead me Lord
I have listened to this song so many times, and still, this particular part always stands out to me. I love how it reminds me that I am to let go of who I think I am supposed to be, and allow God to shape who I am. It reminds me that I have been called to go farther and go beyond just simply living my life for the sake of my own selfish wants.
But these are not things that comes naturally. Nope. Not one bit. Of course I want to be changed to look more like Jesus, but I am also happy being comfortable. Of course I want to let my walls down, but I also struggle with vulnerability. It sounds like an oxymoron, but its the truth. So here I am, my spirit wanting one thing, and my flesh wanting the complete opposite. This was my exact struggle as I was making the decision to go on the World Race. I know I mentioned it previously, but the thought of it both terrified me and excited me. I loved the thought of serving Jesus in a new capacity in different parts of the world, yet I was so scared of the thought of leaving behind everything for a whole eleven months. Basically, all I love and know will be stripped away for that time. The more I prayed about it, there was one reoccurring question in my mind: what are you willing to sacrifice for the sake of the Gospel and the sake of following Jesus?
It’s a sobering question. I have to face up to the things that may hold me back from fully committing myself to what Christ has called me to. He gave up everything for my sake at the cross. It’s a humbling thought to know that I have this privilege to be uncomfortable for His sake while I am here on this earth. So, with all this being said, I am perhaps still a bit nervous, but so very excited for the chance to serve Jesus and love on the nations as I follow Him and go wherever He leads.
And now for a very brief update!
Labor day weekend brought with it the sales! God is so awesome and provided much of my gear that I was able to purchase at low prices! I am almost fully equipped with the things I will need, except for a few minor items. Praise Jesus!
Also, training camp is a little over a month away! This will be a time where my team and I will be able to meet and we will have the opportunity to prepare physically, mentally, and spiritually for our journey. Please pray as the days are very quickly going by and there is still so much to do.
Thank you all so much for your prayers and support. You have all been such a blessing and encouragement to me. If you have not yet given and feel led to, you can do so by clicking the donate button at the top of the page.
In Christ’s love,
Naomi
