Wait, what?? It’s Month 11?
I seriously can not believe that I have made it almost all the way through this journey. It seems like it has gone by in the blink of an eye, and yet it has also been the slowest year of my life.
It’s been hard. Really hard. I’ve been reflecting on the past year and am in awe at how Jesus carried me through each day; each moment. Although I didn’t realize it at the time, He was sustaining me through it all. If He hadn’t been, I would have gone home a long time ago.
Because to be honest, I wouldn’t trade this year for anything. But I am so incredibly tired. I have felt exhaustion and sleep deprivation more than I ever have and probably ever will. I have slept in cockroach infested rooms, where the moment I finish showering with a bucket, it’s so hot that I immediately begin sweating again. I’ve had some of the worst sickness I’ve experienced in my life, in uncomfortable situations such as 48-hour bus rides where riots in the area hold us hostage with fire and threats. I’ve been awoken in the middle of the night in Vietnam by Communist policeman demanding passports from my teammates, because they knew exactly why we were in their country. I’ve experienced extreme spiritual warfare in Africa that caused multiple panic attacks, bloody noses, and terrible nightmares. I’ve glimpsed into some of the darkest places on Earth; like the cabin restaurants in Nepal where the women are literally prostituted and offered as an entree that comes along with a lukewarm glass bottle of Fanta. I’ve witnessed the Hindu Ganesh Festival where the people sacrifice black goats to their god of wealth by slitting their throats and allowing the blood to pour into the streets. I’ve wept bitterly over the trafficking of children. I have been so constantly surrounded by people, 100% of the time, when really I just want to be alone for 5 minutes that sometimes it’s all I can do not to plug my ears and cry in a corner.
The World Race hasn’t just been a bunch of fun adventures, cool people, exciting travels, good food, and cute pictures. It HAS been those things. But in the mundanity of the day to day, I have been challenged beyond my wits and repeatedly pushed to the brink.
And I am overwhelmingly, inexpressibly thankful for all of these things.
I am drawn to the writings of Paul in Philippians 4 –
…”Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.”
The Lord has literally made these Words come to life for me. How many times have we heard Philippians 4:13? How many times have we underestimated the gravity of what these words are saying?
I have been brought low, I have faced plenty, I have faced hunger, I have faced abundance, and I have faced need. I have looked darkness in the face and come out more radiant on the other side because I can do all things through Christ. He gives me strength. He IS my strength. His Spirit and I are one and although my body is mortal, the Spirit that raised Christ from the dead will unwaveringly offer me supernatural strength for whatever comes at me.
I’m weak, I’m human, I am flesh. The struggles of the Race get under my skin. I think longingly of my bathtub, my car, air conditioning, mom’s cooking, and how extremely easy it is to live the American Dream.
But what I must ask myself is, what if it were me?? What if I was the one weeping to a deaf Hindu god to somehow provide finances so that my family won’t starve? What I was the kid in the slum who would rather live on the street and sniff glue so I wouldn’t have to go home to an abusive father and absent mother? Isn’t that why Jesus came?? He loved prostitutes, he loved abused children, he loved the diseased and the broken.
If I don’t love them, then do I really love Jesus?
I am thankful for this platform that I have on this blog. All I really want from it is for God’s people to hear His voice and feel His sorrow over the sufferings of His image bearers all over the world. Do you feel it? He weeps but He has also already won!
Listen up, people. The Kingdom of God is coming. The Kingdom. Is. Coming.
And He’s inviting you into more, more, so much more.
