As I mentioned in my last blog, training camp transformed me in more ways than one. It was 10 days of revelation and hardship. The nitty gritty, the unknown, the discomfort; all forced me to look to the Father repeatedly and depend on Him wholeheartedly.
I’ve said this to myself but I’m not sure if I’ve even said it out loud, but even if I never got to go on the World Race, I would be eternally thankful for training camp.
As I have acclimated back into my cushy, American, air conditioned lifestyle (maybe a bit too easily), I just as quickly sank back into a mindset where I’ve placed God on the back-burner. I’ve realized how difficult it is to walk closely with Him in a lifestyle where I have everything at my fingertips. The sins I fought during Training Camp have quickly taken their places back on the throne of my life, with stealth and skill unbeknownst to me. Just to name a few; laziness, materialism, irritability, and selfishness make their debut in my heart on a regular basis. Satan invades my dreams, thoughts, and the desires of my heart at the slightest sign of weakness.
I’ve held a certain amount of fear towards the next year of my life. How in the world am I going to survive the conditions I’m going to be under, being so used to having my own space and luxuries within the snap of a finger? I’m almost fearful of the contempt that I know I am capable of. Crawling into my own shell of introspection and bitterness.
My heart still holds fear because of my sinful flesh. However, I find myself craving the discomfort. I have a certain joyful anticipation looking ahead at the hardships, because hardships are when we turn to Jesus the most in this life. What can be sweeter than running to God with anger, sadness, discomfort, and frustration, only then to see His hand through it all? Enveloping us in His unconditional love for us? Our trials and tribulations are used by the Father to create better dependence and intimacy with Him. And that’s the purpose of it all. That’s the point of this life we live on Earth, isn’t it? All the prayers and failures, worship and sorrow, triumphs and torment. Those are the tools used for our transformation. Those create joy. Gladness. Satisfaction and contentment. WONDER. My prayer is that throughout the next year, each hardship would create a wide-eyed and enthralled view of the Father and His sovereign provision over my life.
He is so good!! And my heart explodes with excitement over the way I am going to experience His character over the next year. I pray that He takes myself and my squad ever deeper.
So bring it on, World Race. You’re gonna help me know and love Jesus even more than ever before.
*** here’s some scripture I CANT seem to get out of my head, and apparently it’s been revealed to my squadmates as well! It comes from my favorite passage in the Bible; Isaiah 43.
18 “Remember not the former things,
nor consider the things of old.
19 Behold, I am doing a new thing;
now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?
I will make a way in the wilderness
and rivers in the desert.
SOO GOOD and SO ENCOURAGING for a time of crazy transition! I ask that people praying for me would pray through this scripture to the Lord for my heart!
