1 Thessalonians 5:9- “For God did not appoint us to suffer wrath but to receive salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ.”
My dearest Anna read this to me the other day. I was shocked and appalled. How have I never heard this verse in my life?! I went on a quest in my mind, sorting through lie after lie of who I believed God was. Yet, none of it made sense in comparison with this bold statement in Thessalonians.
My whole life I feared God, but in the most unhealthy way. Constantly, I have felt that I have to earn God’s love. I felt an expectation from Him to work hard so I can earn His favor and approval. I felt He was searching for something to disapprove of in my life, waiting to jump in and punish me or look at me disappointingly.
The truth is, God set a new law in place when Christ died on the cross. I wasn’t alive at the time and I could not have made that new law happen. I was not in control of that decision. No longer were we children of Adam and Eve appointed to wrath, but we became children of promise. We are the promised generation Isaiah prophesied, who’s way God made in the wilderness. We are the ones the Messiah came to save and proclaim good news. We are the ones to see a great light, we are Daughter Zion rising up to be radiant. Do we know the weight of all of this?
The weight of this is grace. It is not condemnation. I am realizing how much more I require of myself than God does. While I absolutely need to walk in righteousness, I don’t walk in that righteousness to earn the love of God. I already had that before I was born. I don’t do it to avoid punishment. Jesus took it for me. I don’t walk in righteousness of God’s commands so that He can disapprove of me, because Jesus was scorned for being perfection itself.
I got Him all wrong my whole life. What if God is actually for us, not against us? What if God takes His pursuit of us very seriously? I am understanding Him more clearly. He wants me to have unending joy, not suffocate it with the prospect that He will bring it all down with a crash in the end to teach me another lesson. He wants me to be happy, to be joyful in Him. He wants me to dream and believe wholeheartedly He will dream with me. He wants to take my struggles and miraculously save me from them because He literally created me to save me. He allowed me life to experience blessing in the life AND eternity. I was that important to Him. So why should I think the Lord disapproved of me or wants to punish me?
We had a conversation the other night. He wrote me a love letter. To my reader, I pray it touches your heart as much as it has with mine:
“I will not punish you or take away things because of something I laid on your heart. I will not bring you to ruin or despair. Baby girl, listen to my beckoning call to you. You are not wrong for desiring things I put in your heart. You are steady. You are following. You are one with me and my will. I will sustain you. I will prepare you for what I have coming. I will help you. I will sustain you. Though the world around you is going on without truth in dreaming or Love, I am with you always. You want to dream with me. Don’t you know I am the ultimate dreamer? I made the earth, the heavens, the stars, the waves. I am the best being a dreamer can be yoked to. I am excited to have a daughter that dreams as much as me and has my qualities and characteristics. It’s a dream come true for me, darling. Remember, you were my dream long before I was yours. I thought of you at the beginning of time. Do not be afraid to dream and want good things. Do not be afraid of your desires. I am in them. Do not be afraid; I go before you. Take my hand. Let us dream together. Always, forever, and eternity.”
To my reader, this letter from Love Himself is also for you, just as much as it is for me.
As always, keep dreaming.
Murby
