This is a response to Louie Giglio’s sermon entitled “Indescribable.”
Here is a link to the sermon: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gpPzkVKgW-8
I hesitated to share some things with my readers this month. They seem absurd, whimsical, and almost fanatical in nature. After watching this sermon last night, I realized that it’s possible I serve a God who seems like a fantasy. The individual that began writing fantasies would have had to dare to dream, they would have had to understand something mysterious that the rest of the world did not, they had to be vulnerable in their absurd thinking. Something would have had to prove this fantasy somewhat true, or it would not be so relatable to the reader. If this was true, something bigger than our imaginations inspired this mystery… perhaps it was mystery Himself.
Last month, I asked the Lord for the unimaginable in my life – to forgive myself. I asked Him to help me overcome feelings of bitterness, regret, and shame, that I could walk tall again in confidence of who He created me to be. I spent years trying to fix myself and force myself to become everything I desired to be, but my desperate attempts made these feelings worse than before. As I asked Him to heal me, I thought He would have an expectation of me, but He said to wait. I could no longer do anything to earn this new way of thinking, but I had to wait in hope of His redemption (Romans 8:23-25). He wanted to do it all for me. When I left Nicaragua, he whispered two little words – “It’s coming.”
I came to Panama, expecting to be housed in a little shack in the middle of nowhere, with nothing for miles. I was shocked at our home. We are living in a beach house that is a 5 minute walk from the ocean. Not exactly a “World Race style” of living. Immediately, I knew God needed to work on something deeper within. As I looked around the beach, there was space to run and an empty beach all around. This has become my favorite spot for quiet time with Him. A few days after arrival, I was sitting in front of His amazing creation, looking in the distance at a few islands off the coast. All of a sudden, I saw a rainbow on the water, about 50 feet from me. He said very clearly “Redemption is coming.” The rainbow went away after about a minute. He then instructed me to take off my sandals and go to the water. I stood there, asking what He wanted. A thought popped up in my head: “Let God baptize you.”
I was baptized roughly 3 years ago. I was entering a season of great heaviness in my heart after a very joyful season with the Lord. I felt it was more of an act of desperation to feel the Holy Spirit as I did before and become more favorable in God’s eyes. I felt He turned His face away because of my iniquity during this time. Now the Lord called me to be in communion with Him, to allow Him to baptize me and make me clean in His sight. He solidified a promise He made to me in 2012 through Isaiah 42:6-9. It was a great season of hardship, yet amidst it, He gave me this Scripture as a calling on my life:
“I, the Lord, have called you in righteousness;
I will take hold of your hand.
I will keep you and will make you
to be a covenant for the people
and a light for the Gentiles,
to open eyes that are blind,
to free captives from prison
and to release from the dungeon those who sit in darkness.
I am the Lord; that is my name!
I will not yield my glory to another
or my praise to idols.
See, the former things have taken place,
and new things I declare;
before they spring into being
I announce them to you.”
Since then, He has always announced things to me. Now the Lord wanted to baptize me. He wanted to cleanse me and send me out to proclaim His name. He wanted to do it Himself, not by human hands. I awkwardly sat in the water and began to pray. “Father, if you want to baptize me, send a wave that will cover me. You must do it, I will no longer do it myself.” I prayed this for about 10 minutes. All the while, the waters were stirring. The waves were growing in strength and height. Finally, I yelled the prayer out, my sound being soaked up by the water. The strength of a wave overtook me and knocked me off my feet. I stood up, chuckling at the Lord, because I began to realize that He was listening to me, He heard me. This was the moment I began to understand the ways He has been a Father to me when I had nothing.
So what does this have to do with Mr. Giglio’s sermon?
Louie was discussing the discoveries of NASA in how insignificant our little planet actually is in comparison with the ENTIRE universe. Here is a shot of the Milky Way. This arrow is pointing to our planet. Check it out, Earth is far from being the center of the universe:
Voyager One took this photo in the 90’s from BILLIONS of miles away. It is entitled “Pale Blue Dot:”
You see that little dot in the pink ray of light on the right? Yeah, that’s us.
He then looked outside of the milky way and showed many pictures of whirlpool galaxies and exploding stars thousands of light years away (By the way, one light year is 5.88 trillion miles):
Feel small yet? I mean being 5’2″, I always feel small. But even I feel tiny at this point.
Several places in Isaiah and the Psalms discuss the sun, moon, and stars. Did you know in our little subdivision of the galaxy, it would take one person 2700 years to count all of its stars? Just in a galaxy SUBDIVISION. The Lord knows them and calls ALL OF THESE STARS BY NAME. Not just in our subdivision, but the entire universe!
At this point, my mind felt pried open to all of the things I have been blind to. Then the sermon was summed up by one incredible picture. The EX Structure is the farthest NASA has ever gone. It is the center of the M51 Whirlpool Galaxy:
I almost screamed from excitement. THE SHAPE OF THE CROSS!!! Who put that there?!?!
Literally everything in the galaxy cries out redemption, grace, forgiveness, and promise of the Lord. It permeates our entire universe!!!
As I stepped onto the beach this morning, I couldn’t help but feel like a tiny grain of sand in the Lord’s eyes.
I felt like I was walking on a ball of air and the sky was clear and blue. I felt the sun beating on me and thanked God I wasn’t any closer to it. I wondered what was up there, I couldn’t see the stars in the daylight. The ocean crashed into the beach and slinked back so gently. Something bigger was happening in this moment. I have never felt so insignificant, yet so empowered in my life. Here is a giant excerpt from my journal:
“I’m so insignificant. Compared to the universe, I am nothing.
‘God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.’ 1 Corinthians 1:27
“The planet in which I live is incredible. I look at the oceans and mountains. I hear the birds sing. I feel the cool wind from the blue sky. I see and feel a hot ball of fire, the sun beating down that is so powerful. I think ‘what am I that You would give all of this?’ He keeps whispering ‘You haven’t seen anything yet.’
“Why is it that You care for everything? Why do you still choose to talk to me and write my story, when the entire universe You hold in your hands is at work? Why in Your grandeur do You understand my trials and my needs? Why do you choose to walk beside me and hold my hand, to weep when I weep, rejoice when I rejoice? I am but a grain of sand, a molecule in comparison to the universe. You bid me to come, you summon me. Yet, I notice even the grain of sand reflects your light. Of all places, why did you send Your Son here, to die of all things? Why do You care about our eternity and our death?
My soul cries out HALLELUJAH!!!
“Then I think of Satan being the prince of this world. God gave him nothing but a speck of dust in the universe. He crowned me as His daughter and gave me authority. Satan is just as insignificant in the grandiose scheme of the vast universe, what power does he have? Also, why did God choose to give him reign over the earth, of all places? There is a greater significance to our existence. We can crush him under our foot. We have such power and authority over the darkness. God continues to prove this by creating light in darkness. We find new stars, new supernovas, bright and brilliant gases around black holes. Satan has no power in darkness, light always overcomes it. Satan cannot have power over the light within me. God and His works are so much bigger than Satan. The Lord can heal, He can change the minds and hearts of all. It is not impossible. He can give significance to the insignificant. He is within me, I cannot fall. Why would Satan want me to think I am so insignificant (in a negative way)? Because I am more significant than he, I am a daughter of the Creator of the Universe, the Creator who is the King over all. He cannot forget the stars and their names. I am His daughter, He will not forget about me. He simply cannot, He created me.
Why would He take the time to count the grains of sand? How incredible is it that we have life? We have water!
“Your authority IS SO BIG! Why have I put You in this box? I will never comprehend your gentle authority, displayed so beautifully in a baby.
“Father, you created the story of the universe, the story of my life is not too whimsical for you. It is not made up or fantasized. In fact, it’s not whimsical or fantasized about enough. Why not dream of what You can do? Why not expect more or expect the unexpected? Why not expect something unheard of or incredible? Why not believe in the unbelievable??? Why not believe that I am Your dream come true? Why not believe in the power of beauty You gave me, for You count me more beautiful than Your stars that shoot colors of red, green, yellow, purple, and colors I have never seen!!! Why not have prophecies? Why not write a fantasy with my life? Why not tell me what You set in place? Why not healing? Why not the impossible?
“Your promises are absolutely real, absolutely true. Never have you called me insignificant, though You know better than I what insignificance really is. You created it. You know just how small I am, but you never made me feel that way. You gave the most insignificant thing in the universe authority.
“The universe is Your love song to me. It draws me back to You. It entices me to know Your character, to fall in love with You more. To see You fall in love with me.
So why not?
Why not be the most beautiful thing the Lord has seen?
Why not make Him smile and dance with my music to Him?
My music literally goes through this universe and reaches heaven’s ears. My prayers pierce the hearts of stars and defies all sound waves. They travel light years and reach ears of the heavens.
Why not believe in the unbelievable?
Why not believe in His promise?
Why not believe in redemption and forgiveness?
He speaks to the stars and speaks them into creation and movement. Why not believe He speaks to me?”
He asked me again to get in the water this morning, and I noticed the art He creates with sea foam over and over again. Out of all the things in the universe, He caused the ocean waters to dance, the waves bigger with joyful movements as I proclaimed His forgiveness and love for me. He sent creation to show off in front of me, streams of 3 birds at a time and a line of 10 birds sailing by. He sent beautiful butterflies and dragonflies romancing me on my way home. I finally noticed the bare tree on a path with so much lush, green life around it. It was a metaphor for the death coming to life within me.
I am forgiven and so are you. He knows Your insignificance, yet claims you as significant and holy. What a testimony.
Great are you Lord! Thank you for sending a Christmas miracle every single day, the chance to breathe and be loved by You.
Merry Christmas to all, may you notice His beauty and be comforted by it.
With Joy and Peace in My Heart,
Murbs
