Written last week: Last full day of debrief, a sabbatical blessing, six days dedicated to rest before we head into Haiti…needed, appreciated.
While I’ve been here someone said something about the day that we’ll “have to say goodbye to the Dominican Republic.” That wording hit me. We are about to have to say goodbye to the DR for who knows how long. There’s no way of telling when any of us will ever be back here. It’s allowed/forced me to think about all of the things I’ve said hello to and am now about to say goodbye to in the next 24 hours.
Growth is hard to track because I don’t notice that I’ve changed in some way or another until it’s already done and a part of me. All of the sudden I am the way I am and I realize I was the way I was. It’s just not easy to figure out how it all happened and how it began in the first place, but I know for a fact that The World Race is owed the credit for significant growth of Lillabea. So here we go, I’ll try!
Hello’s:
The reality of sextrafficking. Been educated before, but I’ve never been able to walk the streets and beaches, knowing all of the signs- the older white men summoning the younger native women, the women selling themselves, the sly slips of money and nasty google translate conversations…it’s a whole new world knowing what I’m seeing.
Fidelity. Something so lost.
My heart is broken for what breaks His.
Not in some cheesy, Christian calendar kind of way, but in a REAL way. In a real and simple and true way.
To sweating and smelling strange at all times of the day and night and no make up and sunburnt skin because we’re never not under the sun. Gross and alive and sleepy and full and happy: me
Hello to constant community. I do not believe that I’ve ever felt more capable of chasing after dreams than in this here and this now. Inspiring and encouraging. Everything I’ve wanted for so long. An answered prayer. Not that it’s always dreamy and lovely; it can be brutal- roughly 45 different pasts colliding together all at once, trying to align for the sake of the gospel isn’t perfectly peachy. Yet. I stand by it’s an answered prayer. I’ve
gotten to know some of the most incredible powerhouses of people in this universe- a wild swirl of eccentric, wild, free, brilliant, artistic, God fearing, purpose chasing humans. Beauty.
Hello to a rain forest!!! Gosh. Lush and green!!! Tarzan and Jungle Jane vibes all month long. Picked fresh fruits from the property for snacks. Waterfall for a shower! Goats walking around everywhere! The largest and strangest bugs I’ve ever seen in my existence. Dell desktop background kind of scenery at every angle. Dreamy.
Hospitality. Deeply inspired by the example that our host home set for us in hospitality. We arrived on their property late at night on September 11th. From the second we arrived to the very second we left, we were treated like family. They lived and breathed “what’s mine is yours,” opening their home and life and aspirations up to all of us. I had been praying for months for any and all of the ministry hosts that I get the privilege of working alongside
in each country we’ll be traveling to, for God to be creatively inspiring them in love to actively seek out work to be done for us to partner with them in. God’s will. For needs to be met. For God to breathe life into these ministries. For nothing to be done out of anything but sincerity. Hope for the DR was an answered prayer. You would not believe the way that this family coexists.
I just wrote this in my journal: “What God is encouraging me in this month: HOSPITALITY. Continually praying for creative love. Sticky Love [this is a reference to a book written by Hannah Brencher; she writes of how her mother used to always keep a couple PB&J’s in her purse to give to any homeless or hungry people she passed on car rides. Been inspiring me since 2015]. What is in my hands [reference to Exodus 3:13-15; Moses took his occupational tool and God used it for His mission]?: always on my mind, in the most literal and metaphorical way. As stationary or mobile as my home- where ever that may be- is, living like what I own is God’s. A forever posture of open handedness, which looks like a door that swings open for all, a place at my table for any and all… Baking things for the neighbors, fighting for real conversations in a dangerously apathetic culture. Generosity in all things.”
Gosh, thank you Dominguez family for all that you sparked in me!! ETERNALLY GRATEFUL!
Laundry. We washed our laundry by hand. Something spiritual in that. Washing clothes clean, gently working stains out, patiently waiting for them to dry. Glorious in a simplistic way. You can look at my friend Dasia’s blog for the way she wrote about hand washing laundry: www.dasiaolivares.theworldrace.org
I was profoundly encouraged in womanhood this past month. It is an honor to be a woman, to experience God and all of the complexities of life in the unique way that God designed us to. Put Proverbs 31 into prayer on a walk along that Puerta Plata dirt road- I was walking with Ky and Carsen- it was about 11 o’clock- prayed it for the first time there, will be praying it over women of all ages and walks of life until the day I die.
Home visits. I had only gone on one home visit prior to this trip, but this door has been swung wide open. Makes me feel even more sonder than I did back home. Sonder defined: “n. the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own- populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness-invisibly around you(Dictionary of the Obscure Sorrows)…” God moves in beautiful ways.
Home visits are another strong source of inspiration in hospitality.
Seeking God in ways that I never thought possible. Didn’t realize that humans could have a relationship with God like this. Prayer is vital: a realization for me. Humbling and beautiful.
Hello to a month away from home. Away from everything that home stands for- my family, friends, school, favorite sunset spots, the church that I love, younglife on Monday nights, racing the clock to make curfew, driving a car, AMERICA! It’s all different. Drastically different. Never been away for this long before- there’s a first for everything.
Although, I’ve never been more aware of myself than I am currently. I know where I am and what I want and who I want to be and why I’m doing what I’m doing. Relief in that because it was time to leave the nest. We can’t stay home forever, especially not if you want to get off your butt and do something with the life God has given you! Never lived the words “carpe diem” more than I have this September/early October.
I guess I should have been saying “hola” instead of “hello” considering I’m in a spanish speaking country at the moment…That’s another thing: never been more convicted to learn another language. Meeting with Carolina, Graycia, and Maria (head over to last blog, “The Beginning,” to understand) made me want to learn another language like CRAZY. If what God has done in my life can be told in more than one language than WHAT’S HOLDING ME BACK?! JOY and peace and patience and redemption and fulfillment are at people’s fingertips!! Being fluent in more than one language would double the opportunities of vocalizing truth like that which could be life altering for the better. I am capable of connecting more and connecting deeper and doing so without a translator. Another language is worth the discipline it takes to learn; who knows what language it’ll be or how I’ll learn it, but I feel that it’s going to happen.
I can’t bring myself to say “adios” to this place, so I’ll settle for this: HASTA LUEGO, REPUBLICANA DE DOMINICANA! DIOS TE BENDIGA!
BONJOUR, HAITI!
“It’s hot as Haiti here” makes so much sense now.
In a constant state of sweat.
I kinda love it, couldn’t tell you why if I tried.
ANYWAYS!
We arrived safe and sound after 13 hours of border crossing on Tuesday! The border itself was stunning, but living here for just this past week has been mindblowing. The three all girls teams on our squad are living together in a little pink house that’s a three minute walk from a rocky beach with mountains in the distance- every time we go to the beach there’s at least 25 kids that swarm from all angles and strip down naked and sprint into the water with us! Wild and free!!
We’re here partnering with an organization called Supply and Multiply which started the Matthew 25 House, an elderly home here in Haiti for the “granmouns” (elderly) that are in dyer need of love and care. It’s been a total joy partnering with the mission here so far! The elderly are often pushed to the margins of societies, but here, at the Matthew 25 house, as they are close to Heaven’s gates, they are incredibly cared for.
So encouraging.
There’s so many more things that we’ve been able to do as we’ve been here so far- truly, I’ve lived the longest days of my life while I’ve been here, but I’ve got one minute left of wifi, so looks like I’ve got to go!
SENDING LOVE BACK HOME!
PRAYER REQUEST: one of the girls on my team here is extremely sick. Pray for healing. She needs it.
