Fear: to avoid or put off doing something because one is afraid.
When it comes to our lives fear is something we don’t like to talk about. It makes us feel weak, it plants doubt, and it makes us believe we’re less than we are. Isn’t this something we can all relate to? I mean haven’t we all, at one point or another, let fear get the best of us? I know I have.
Although this is something I’ve struggled with for a long time, this last year has been one of the more challenging ones in this area. For me, fear of the unknown was the big one: What does God have for me next? Is this the path I should be taking? What if it’s too hard? What if I’m not good enough? These are questions that I’ve asked myself countless times over the last 12 months. And it wasn’t until my sister took me to get my first tattoo that I had a much needed wake up call.
Okay so for about 2 months leading up to my tattoo I was super nervous about it and I honestly wasn’t sure that I could do it. (Yes you read that correctly TWO months before, crazy right!?) I was reading a ton of blogs and asking everyone I knew who had a tattoo “How was it?” and “How bad did it hurt?” And of course most of the people I spoke with, and most of the blogs I read, said that where I was getting it (my ribs) was not going to be fun but that pain doesn’t last forever. This, of course, brought me no comfort.
So it’s now day of and I’m nauseous and I can’t think about anything else no matter how hard I try. I finally get there and I’m on the table, stencil is on there, machine is on, my sister is super excited and I freak out. I tell the tattoo artist to wait, that it was going to hurt super bad, and that I didn’t think I could do it. Eventually they talk me into just giving it a try and with tears in my eyes he started. And you know what… it didn’t even really hurt.
As I’m laying there, halfway done with my tattoo, starting to relax God uses this time to teach me a lesson.
He used this experience to show me that I can’t let the fear of something consume me and control my thoughts and actions. Every single one of us is different. We are each unique and handle things and situations differently. We can’t expect that things are going to go the same way as they did for someone else, no matter how similar the situation.
Let’s get real for a second. How often do we let fear determine our choices? I’ll admit it, I let fear factor into my decisions way more often then it should. Whether it’s fear of the unknown, fear of failure, or even fear of success, how often does it control our thoughts and actions?
It was through this experience that God helped me to realize that I cannot have a spirit of fear but that I need to have a spirit of faith and calmness. We will never truly know what’s going to happen, how something will feel, or if it’s going to work out as planned. But we can’t let that doubt guide our decisions. Sometimes you just have to say yes and jump and trust that God has you, even when it’s hard to see what’s next.
Looking back at the last year, I’ve seen the difference in a fearful choice versus a faithful one and where each has lead me. And not once has a path chosen out of fear done me any favors. As hard and scary as it is sometimes God asks us to put something down in order to pick up something better.
So I’m gonna challenge you, what is God asking you to put down so that he can hand you something better? Are you ready to move on from a spirit of fearfulness to a spirit of faithfulness because, I promise you, the rewards are far greater.
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” 2 Timothy 1:7
