“There is a way to grieve and be in joy. There is a way to dance while the tears stream.”
–Steffany Gretzinger
The fact that this journey officially ends tomorrow night feels surreal. Tomorrow (late) night my feet will be walking around in an airport in Miami, FL, USA. How?! My life has been all about the World Race since September 2016 when I accepted my spot on W Squad and began the arduous task of fundraising.
If you had asked me two months ago how ready I was to go home, I would have told you that I was practically counting down the seconds. The World Race is so hard sometimes and I felt ready to be done, but now that I am actually crossing the finish line my feelings are much more complex. There aren’t adequate words, but I am still going to try my best. I am full of joy at the prospect of seeing my friends and family, but I am grieving the loss of my W Squad family because realistically, we will never all be together in the same place again. I am ready to share all that I have learned this year, but I am also scared that people aren’t going to understand this experience that I’ve had. I can’t wait to get plugged into a church community and start giving back, but I am also nostalgic for the many amazing church communities that I have been a part of in these past 11 months.
If there is one thing that I just really want you to know it is this: I am not the same person that you knew 11 months ago, and you are not the same person that I knew either. We are both different and that is a fact. Give me grace when I no longer know the intricacies of your life, or when I forget your favorite things, or when I bring up a story from my race for the 100th time, or when I struggle to communicate with you like we used to. Give yourself grace when you aren’t sure how to ask me questions or talk to me (but PLEASE still ask me and talk to me anyways), or when you have forgotten the little things that drive me crazy, or when things just don’t feel the same. They aren’t the same, we aren’t the same. Have patience with our relationship as we start to rebuild it. It will maybe even feel like getting to know each other all over again, this is okay! I am excited to get to know who you have become in this past year. I am ready to see what you have to teach me. I am filled with joy knowing that Jesus has been shaping and molding you (whether you know it or not) in this past year just as He has been shaping me.
Basically, change is hard and coming home is hard, but change is also beautiful and coming home is also incredible. See you in 31 hours, America.
Kristen
