Blog password is wonderchurch
Advent is a season of waiting. A season of longing. During advent we await the birth of the Lord patiently. People are filled with hope, anticipation, and expectation during this season but this advent I find myself asking why our whole lives are not seen as a season of waiting?
I feel as if I am in perpetual advent.
As I became fully immersed in mainstream, Christian culture about six years ago I noticed that everyone seemed to be feeling God. They seemed to be literally hearing Him, conversing with Him, and having a relationship with Him. When they spoke of God they spoke of such personal emotion.
As I looked around I cried out in frustration. “Lord, what am I missing?!” I have filled page after page in my notebooks with desperate pleas to “feel” God. Don’t get me wrong, there have been moments in my life where I felt as if I was feeling the Father breathe. There have been moments where I have heard His voice. There have been moments where I’ve been brought to tears at His beauty, but these were all just moments for me. Others seemed to be experiencing whole lifetimes like this.
Earlier this week I finally realized that there is nothing wrong with me. Not a thing. I’ve begun reading a new book by Brant Hansen called “Blessed are the Misfits.” The author is a Christian radio host with Aspberger’s who has often felt left out of mainstream church culture. As an analytical, logical, introvert he felt that he didn’t always have a place in the church and he also felt that he wasn’t “feeling” God like everyone else was. As I read the first chapter I was blown away and relieved. There are other people who feel like me?! Hallelujah!
Mr. Hansen has proven that our whole lives are a season of advent.
Jesus was perhaps the most intentional man to ever live. Every choice He made had significance. The last supper was no exception. There was an intricate cultural practice taking place at that table, and it was a proposal for marriage. We have all heard that the Church is the bride of Christ and I accepted this, but I always wondered where the proposal was. Every great love story has one, and God’s love story with humanity couldn’t be an exception.
During Jesus’ time on earth a father chose a bride for his son. When a woman had been chosen, the groom would go to her house and sit down with her family. The groom would offer the family a price for their daughter. This price was what the groom thought the daughter was worth. After this discussion the choice was turned over to her. The groom would pour a glass of wine and place it down in front of her. If she accepted the proposal, she would drink the wine. If she did not accept, she would leave it on the table.
Do you see the parallels yet? It gets better.
After the bride accepted the two would be betrothed. During this period the groom would return to his father’s house to prepare a honeymoon suite for Him and his bride. He would be required to build and work on the place until his father decided that it was ready. Throughout this time the couple was to remain together, but apart. They would interact minimally until the place was done and it was time to be married.
Jesus came to the world to woo humanity. His Father chose us as his bride, sent him to our homes, and encouraged him to make the proposal. He gave his body as our worth and the wine as his offer. He then returned to his Father’s house to prepare a place for us. Are our entire lives not a season of waiting?
It’s no wonder that I (and many others) often can’t “feel” God. It is no wonder that I only hear His voice sometimes. It is no wonder that I don’t always have the privilege of seeing His face or feeling His breath. We are betrothed. Together, yet apart. It is difficult and it requires patience, but I know with confidence that it will make the marriage so much sweeter. It has given me so much freedom to KNOW that I’m not broken, I’m just waiting.
So if you are anything like me-if you have struggled to ascribe to the mainstream emotions in the Church-there is still hope! You are together, but apart from God and this was the plan from the beginning. He is preparing for you and desires for every inch of the place to be perfect before He takes you there. Wait with faith for Him. He is coming again.
Amen
