For a long time I desired to be married and find the perfect person. I thought that my life would be complete when doing so. I prayed that the Lord would mold me into the wife that He wanted, and prayed for wherever my future husband might be. For a period of time I let this desire overpower my desire for the Lord and although I was seeking the Lord, my priorities were not in line.
I saw people around me in relationships, getting engaged and having kids. My heart ached because that is something that I haven’t yet experienced and wanted so desperately.
People always ask do you have a boyfriend and when are you going to get married. My answer is always the same. I am not sure but I am waiting on the Lord to reveal the perfect person. It has been really hard to be single for twenty five years and something that I have had to completely surrender to the Lord. What I didn’t know is there was still surrendering to be done.
One of my squad leaders had a vision from the Lord and shared the following:
I got an image of you standing in front of Jesus. I can see your heart and you are holding the key. He is asking for it. You then hand it to Him and He puts it in a pocket that is right over His heart. He wants you to trust Him with this key. He won’t lose it or give it to the wrong person. Can you trust Him?
I prayed into this. What the Lord told me completely surprised me.
The Lord said trust me. I have a plan for you. Give me the desires of your heart and I will show you when you are ready. Wait and I will reveal Him to you, don’t lose hope. Wait for the one I have for you my child. One day you will be ready but until then I am grooming you into the woman you need to become. One day you will meet him but until then focus where you are at and be content there, don’t let this be a distraction.
In the same week, a team mate gave me feedback and shared the following:
Stay present- Don’t dwell on the unknown and concern of what might come and what might not come in the future and trust in the Lord.
I prayed and this is what the Lord revealed:
Trust me with your future husband. Do not fear that you won’t get married but let me have the key to your heart for a while and be in complete control.
I asked Lord is this holding me back?
Yes, let go completely and surrender this part of your life to me. I have a plan far greater than you can imagine so stop trying and let me work. I am the Creator, don’t you trust me with this part of your life as well? Have faith knowing that I am writing your story and have known what is going to happen for years. I also don’t screw up, so relinquish this to me and walk forth freely as you. Don’t worry about what is happening in other peoples lives around you. Your story is different be proud of it and own it because I am the author. It is going to be a beautiful testimony of your love for me when you walk down that aisle. Don’t give up, have faith, have hope, and hold out for a hero.
The Lord confirmed through two different people that He has a plan and what a beautiful story He is writing. I have to put my complete trust in Him and know that even though it doesn’t always make sense, His timing is perfect.
I am not sure where you are at right now but know that being single isn’t a bad thing, if that is the season you are in. Growing up in todays society it can be portrayed that way but it is actually a really beautiful place to be. I have learned that it means you just get to sit in the Fathers arms and let Him hold you for a little while longer. Let Him be your first desire and mold you into exactly who He wants you to be.
“There is a core part of our hearts that was made for Daddy. Made for his strong and tender love. That part is still there, and longing. Open it to Jesus and to your Father God. Ask him to come and love you there. Meet you there. We’ve all tried so hard to find the fulfillment of this love in other people, and it never, ever works. Let us give this treasure back to the One who can love us best.” Captivating
He has to be our first love and come before anyone or anything else. Let Him be the one that fills that desire you so desperately want and when He sees fit, He will reveal to you the spouse He has hand picked for you.
Let Jesus be your first love.
