Recently, I have been feeling a lot of emotions surrounding the topic of graduation. I would be graduating school right now if I stayed at Georgia College. I would be taking cap and gown pictures with friends, feeling this overwhelming sense of accomplishment because of the time I put in. I might have been ready for it to be over. I might have been really sad. I have no idea and I will never know.
I chose this life. I followed where I felt like God was calling me and it wasn’t an easy decision. There are times where I wonder, should I have stayed?
But then I remember what I was going through during that time..
I had suffered from depression from the ages of 15-20. I couldn’t really even tell you why. But I knew I was empty. I was alone (in my head I was). This might be new information to most of you or maybe even something “I shouldn’t talk about”, but that was me. During college, I was pretty all over the place. I was LUCKY to have made the friends I did. They loved me well, but I was still suffering. I hid it pretty well too. It got to my first semester of my Sophomore year and I felt the lowest of the low. My body was starting to shut down in different ways because of how unhealthy I was. I would make my roommate Drew walk with me in the dead of night when I couldn’t get out of my head. I was desperate.
I remember that I prayed the most desperate prayer to God. I needed out. I needed help. I couldn’t continue the life I was living. And he gave it to me. A family member needed me at home because of some health issues and I moved back.
With in one month, everything was different for me.
I felt alive again. I just knew I needed to chase after this God I claimed to know. I remembered around 2 years before I had come across The World Race. I was about to turn 21 and decided to apply.
Now, It’s the middle of month 10 and we just got an email about what month 11 will look like and I’m feeling all these conflicting emotions about this chapter of my life coming to an end. It feels like I’m graduating in a way. I came into this mission in a very different place then where I am at now. I had no confidence in myself. I was hurting and now the Lord has redeemed a lot of areas of my life. He has restored me to the person that I was created to be.
I’ll be heading home in 1 month and 29 days.
I’ll be leaving a community that I love so dearly. I have no idea how re-entry will go, but I know that after this I will continue to chase after the Lord. I will enter into the states a catalyst for his kingdom and I will try to make an impact where ever I go.
To all my friends graduating.. I am so so proud of you all. You worked your butts off and here you are. You made it. You guys are going to do big things and you WILL make a difference where ever you end up!
Shout out to: Ella, Becca, Drew, Skyler, Tia (even though you graduated last semester) all of the girls in KD at GC!!
