When I signed up for the race I was told that there would be a parent vision trip (PVT) towards the end of the race. It’s a 5 day opportunity for parents to meet their racers on the field and do ministry with them, worship with them, talk to them about any shifts in their lives,and experience a small piece of what our lives as missionaries look like. That’s incredible. That’s exciting! That’s an opportunity for one on one interaction with parents that could help a lot with going home and being with people that might not understand all that well what we have chosen to spend 9 months focusing on.
As the race went on I talked to my parents about PVT, told them about the cost and the opportunity for fundraising ect… and the more I talked about it the more excited I got. But the closer to PVT we came, and the longer it took for one of them to say yes, meant that the chances of either of them coming were pretty slim, and I eventually realized that neither of them were going to be able to come. That sucked. A lot. Out of 42 people who got to see their family last week I was one of 9 racers who didn’t. People talked bout it nonstop the week leading up to it. What they were sending home and what they’re parents were bringing them. I heard about what ministry would look like and where they were going to go on adventure days and how they were hoping the week would fly so that they could see people who they’ve been missing for months now. I was sad hearing about it. I was not looking forward to going to a separate ministry for week with most of my team gone. I wasn’t looking forward to packing up again, and I wasn’t happy about having to here about all of they’re great PVT stories.
The thing about my expectations however, were that they were MINE. I moped round silently for days, slightly dreading the next week, and feeling not so slightly jealous that most of my teammates families were able to clear they’re schedule and get the money to come all the way to Asia. But never once did I stop to ask the Lord why he had planned my PVT like this. If I so strongly believe that my life is in God’s hands, why was I so fearful of my time being wasted or unmemorable. The Lord is a lamp unto my feet. He guides me in way that keeps me safely on the pathway towards him and the kingdom that is waiting for me. He does not need me to know everything that’s ahead, He simply needs me to trust Him. I never stopped to ask what exactly the Lord had planned for me. What he wanted me to gain. What he wanted me to learn, or how this would be beneficial for the relationship between him and I. I was only focused on what PVT could have done for the relationship between one of my parents and I, but the honest truth is that the ultimate and prioritized relationship in my life will always be the Lord, so why did I decide to put him side?
I went to Kids International Ministries for my “awful” non-PVT week. I was with 11 people total, and only one of them was on my team…It was without doubt, 100%, one of the best weeks on my entire race. I loved it. I thrived. I learned. I grew. And I repented of not holding the trust that the Lord clearly deserves from me. He has never failed me, and he didn’t start with simple thing like a parent vision trip. I did ultra sounds and weighed babies at a birthing clinic. I did feedings in two different communities, which is just serving hot soup out of the back of car. I prayed over lot of moms and sick babies. I met so so so my people staying at the ministry (KIM). Hong Kong teams and other Americans were there, so every meal was full of new people and great food that was much needed after living on the mountain for month. I slept on real bed and went swimming with kids. I go to talk to my parents on the phone at a a semi normal hour which hadn’t happened in month. I had an INCREDIBLE time with the people who were there, and I had an opportunity to take the time to simply rest with Lord. Hangout with him, catch up, talk to him and listen for what he had to say back. I did ministry all week that in no way felt like ministry. I went several times with only Hong Kong teams to feedings without any other racers for the simple fact that interacting with people through service like that fills me with so much joy and giddiness. I loved it. I loved it I loved it I loved it.
Having been with my team again for several weeks and having PVT behind us, I think it was a good thing that I was at the Lords mercy. He took control and put me in situation where I really had to rely on him for understanding. Having my mom or dad come would have been beautiful, but what was more beautiful was that my Father in Heaven thought it was more important that I took that time to spend with him instead. I really and truly believe that to have unique relationship with God you have to create your own secret history with him. Share time that no one knows about, study and learn things that you don’t need to boast in but simply apply to your daily living. I serve a God who cares so much for me as an individual that he went above and beyond to teach me something about trusting in him for my own good.
Thanks Lord, your goodness continues to astounds me.
