I felt compelled today to share a story that’s unfolded throughout this last month. This has been such a joyful part of my recent journey, and I’d love to hear more of your thoughts on it. Read this story as an illustration of the depth of God’s love, and his desire to be deeply involved in the intricate, playful details of our lives—of your life. This is just an example of how crazy life can be when we’re in relationship with God in every small moment.
In Cusco last month, the Lord gave me a really cool new way of understanding intimacy with him. It started when I was having a conversation with my friend Colby, and out of nowhere, I heard the Holy Spirit clearly tell me “Read The Wise Man’s Fear by Patrick Rothfuss next month.”
I was pretty surprised. If you don’t know, this is a hefty, 1,100 page fantasy novel, and the conversation I was having was 100% unrelated. What’s more, I’d started reading this book a few years ago, and had to put it down at a drawn out, fairly explicit section of the book. That book, really? I found myself thinking.
“This time it’s safe, and it’s going to be about me,” the Lord responded. Alright—I’ll buy it next time I’m in town on wifi.
A couple days later, the team watched the film The Shack with our ministry hosts. Now, I know there’s a lot of controversy around the theology in the movie, but watching it, I mostly found myself aching to know the Lord more. I was praying after watching it and just brought a lot of my insecurity to the Lord. God, I’d love to get to spend an entire weekend in a cabin with you. More than anything. But…do you actually like me enough to do that? I know you love me, of course…but do you like me? Do you want to be with me that intimately?
At this point I felt the Spirit prompting me to ask the question I was thinking…the deep question I wanted to ask of the Lord, but didn’t feel like I had the right to ask. The Spirit prompted me and I asked the Lord. I want to be able to know you in new ways. But there’s something more…I want a name. A name for you that nobody else has heard, that’s all my own. I want my very own name for you, Lord. I felt the Spirit’s peace and rest, and went to bed.
Fast forward another couple days. I went into town, got on wifi on my kindle and went to buy the book God asked me to read…and immediately had the unshakeable sense that I wasn’t supposed to buy it. I kept having the image of a paperback copy of the book on my shelf at home pop into my head, which was confusing, since the Lord asked me to read it during Month 6. But eventually, I settled on the fact that maybe God wanted me to wait and read it this summer instead.
Content with that answer, I left the coffeeshop and went to walk around Cusco. Colby wanted something to read as well, and we’d found a small English bookstore a couple weeks before, so we stopped in so he could buy a book.
Sitting on the shelf were The Wise Man’s Fear and The Name of the Wind, both books in the series, in paperback copies. How amazing is that! They hadn’t been there a mere 2 weeks prior, meaning someone had come into the store and sold copies of the exact books the Lord wanted me to read. And God was so invested in me that he stopped me from buying them on kindle, because he knew how much more I would be refreshed and find joy in finally reading a physical book after months reading on kindle.
And as if that itself wasn’t enough, my question I’d asked after watching The Shack tied into this as well. In the first novel, the main character meets a magician named Abenthy who knows the name of the wind. Because he knows the wind’s name, he can call the wind and the wind must answer. He writes, “I’d seen Abenthy do something I could not explain, something strange and wonderful…He called the wind and the wind came. It was magic. Real magic. The sort of magic I’d heard about in stories. The sort of magic I hadn’t believed in since I was six. Now I didn’t know what to believe. So I invited him into our troupe, hoping to gain answers to my questions. Though I didn’t know it at the time, I was looking for the name of the wind.”
At that moment, I heard the Spirit say, “You asked me for a name, Joel. You are looking for the name of the wind (spirit).”
And it all clicked. This fantasy book, written by a man who isn’t a Christian, was what God had chosen to speak to me through, to answer one of my deepest and most vulnerable questions I’ve ever asked of him. Because that’s how much our God cares—He speaks to us not only in a way we can understand, but in a way we can enjoy.
A lot of people know that God loves them. Fewer live as if it’s true. And even fewer live as if God loves them, and also likes them. How much could it change the way you live day to day if you truly dared to believe that the maker of the Universe actually likes you—you, small, ordinary, mundane, you. Wouldn’t we find God is speaking to us all the time?
This is a journey I’m walking down. I’m learning what it’s like to not only do ministry with Jesus but also to read epic fantasy with him. I’m learning not only to read my bible with him but also just to be with him while lying still in my hammock in the afternoon. And it’s changing everything about how I think of myself to hear the Lord say he loves me in more and more ways, to see his friendship through countless new avenues.
Thanks for reading, and for continually supporting me. Drop a comment below!
~Joel
