What is going on in my mind as I am preparing for training camp?
- Is the food going to be good?
- How much will it actually rain in Georgia?
- How early do I need to be at the airport to not miss my flight?
- How will my squad be when I first meet them?
- Why am I trying to pack so much stuff?
- How is God going to show himself to me there?
There are more things running through my head as I’m preparing to leave Wednesday morning. Most of them are superficial things like packing and making it to my flight, things I have control over. There are some things I do not have control over like, how is God going to speak to me or what is going to be placed on my heart as I’m going through this training and journey. Not going to lie here, I am one who tries to bend and force the expectations and what I want out of a situation and out of God. The biggest moments in my life that I can distinctively remember are the moments of realization that God’s will is 100 times better than anything I could have hoped and dreamed of. One of the moments being when I was discharged from the Ohio Army National Guard before doing anything. Then having a moment where God laid it on my heart to not be mad and discouraged from what I wanted to do with my life but be encouraged in the life He has for me. This is the moment I had the calling to pursue ministry and I wouldn’t change it for the world.
This reminds me of Jacob (Genesis 26-32) after he stole the blessing and birthright from Esau. He was trying to impose his own will on his life. Then he fled to Laban’s and then stole lambs from him. He was then on the run and was homeless. He was expecting Esau to try and kill him and though he had nowhere to go. But, unexpectedly to Jacob he ended up wrestling with God and going from the “heel grasper” to being named Israel, the one who “prevails with God.” Then from this he Esau catches up to him and instead of being mad or trying to kill him as Jacob expected Esau embraced him with forgiveness and open arms.
It’s amazing to see how even when we have these crazy expectations good or bad God shows up in ways we will never expect. It could be in His silence or in His abundance. We will never know until it happens. Even with my expectations and worries good and bad, I’m excited to see how God works amongst me and those around our team.
Just an update on my fundraising, I currently need around $2,670 to meet my goal of $10,000 by July 21st. This goal needs to be met so I am able to leave in August!!
If would like to support me on this mission trip you can click the donate button at the top or contact me for more information at [email protected]
Thanks for reading!
