I’m literally laughing and crying at the same time. (Total spazz!)
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders.
Let me walk upon the waters, wherever you would call me.
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander,
and my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior.
I’m sitting in this coffee shop in Kathmandu, Nepal, reflecting on my life and thinking about how Jesus really will take you some places you never think you’d ever go. Places you’ve never even heard of. And He’ll put you in predicaments that you’ve never thought you’d ever be in.
Let’s flashback to February 2016. A few weeks after surrendering to Jesus and quitting my job, I sang this song, “Oceans, Where Feet May Fail“at an open mic. (If you haven’t heard it, please go take a listen.) I’ll never forget it, because it was the first time I had ever done anything like that. I was so nervous, I forgot everything immediately and had to run off stage to go get my mind right. The old me would have been mortified, but I just made it goofy and handled my business. Lol. Yikes!
But That soonnnggg, Loorrdd!!
Now, it’s awesome to surrender and let Jesus take you places, but it’s also hard. I’m going to be honest. I was spoiled last month in India. We went into it expecting the worst, but ended up having beds, fans, toilets where we could actually flush the toilet paper (mind blown!), home cooked Indian meals made with so much love, a fridge and freezer to make ice ( blessings! ), annnddd to top it off, it was like 80ish degrees outside, so it wasn’t that hot!! It was lit!
But now I’m in Nepal. And it’s a beautiful place, but for me, stuff just got real.
Here’s how:
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This is the third time I’ve worn this outfit, and I’ve even climbed a mountain in it, so by no means is it even a little bit clean.
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I live in a house with 51 other people. *insert upside down smiley emoji
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I walk about 8 miles a day up hill (I’m from New Orleans, which is well below sea level)
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My feet are blistered and gross and look like I’ve been walking with Jesus for years.
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I have to make number two in a hole in the ground. *insert side eye
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We can only flush the toilets and squatty potty once a day. (Note the amount of people I live with) *insert double side eye
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Showers can only be two minutes long.
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Running out of water is a real thing, so baby wipe baths are real.There’s dirt and dust everywhere, so if you don’t wear a mask, you’ll have grit in your mouth.
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There’re constant bugs and dirt all around, and it’s not even that bad yet, but I’m dramatic and don’t like it.
So yeah, it’s been a struggle, but I’m adapting. Even in all my discomfort, I remember that song and singing to the Lord,
And I will call upon your name,
and keep my eyes above the waves.
When oceans rise, my soul will rest in your embrace.
For I am yours, and you are mine.
Although at times, I may not be happy, I am filled with so much joy, because I know I’m right where I’m supposed to be! I refer back to the New Testament, where Paul is writing these letters, literally in chains. And he even says, and I’m paraphrasing,
“Ya know, I’d rather be dead and be with Jesus, than be alive in these chains, but if I’m going to live, I’m going to make it fruitful. I know I have to do this, so that others will be encouraged and keep going.” Phil 1:21-26
It’s all for the glory of the Kingdom. If Paul can be in chains for years and use it in a bucket or something, then I can skip some showers and live with people who have as well. I can climb mountains to pray over the entire city of Kathmandu. I can spread the gospel to introduce Jesus to people who have never heard His name. I can plant seeds and water them.
I just had an encounter with Rukesh. He was selling cashmere blankets, and there was just something about his kindness and his spirit to where I went to leave, and I just couldn’t without talking to him about Jesus. It turns out, he had never heard His name. He was the first person I’ve ever shared Jesus with. He explained how you have to work really hard to earn god’s power. I explained to him that with Jesus, there is nothing you have to do to earn his love and that he love him any more than he already does now. He let me pray over his life, and just the realization it’s bringing me in this very moment, of how God is using me… this is it. This is why I’m here. Away from my family. On the other side of the world. Abandoning my comforts and rights and privileges and privacy, to do what I want, when I to do it. Thank you Lord for revelation.
Your grace abounds in deepest waters.
Your sovereign hand will be my guide.
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me,
You’ve never failed and you won’t stop now.
I’ll keep going for you, Lord. This is what you’ve called me to do, so I’m going in guns blazinn. These folks will get this good Jesus.
