World Race Launch. This was a time of learning, preparing, and honestly too much waiting. I’m not saying I wasn’t busy, I’m saying I was itching to leave. You can probably relate. When something huge is about to happen and you’re only several days away from it, it seems like time inches by slower than usual. I soaked up all that I could in that timeframe and God laid some crazy things on my heart.
We (all the world racers) were asked to talk to the Lord and ask him what he wanted out of us this year. Where did we want to be by the end of the race? What would the journey look like? What was the path that God wanted us to embark on? This wasn’t a personal choice, this was a God choice. God was the one deciding what the journey would look like. Of course this is only if we were willing to let go. I was ready to let go what I came into launch holding onto. I was ready to let go and let God, as “Christianese” as that may sound it was true. I didn’t want my own personal problems or struggles to get in the way of God. I know I still have a lot to work through, but that will come with time and continuing to surrender to him.
Now for the big question. What did God want this path to look like for me? I prayed for two days asking “God, what do you want me to embark on? What will the journey look like? What do you want my mission to be while I’m on this trip.” That was my prayer. Hour after hour. Then as I was listening hoping for an answer, after several days of prayer, I felt in my spirit one word. Boldness.
“Ok, God I see you. You want me to be bold?”
No response.
“God, show me that I’m not crazy and that word truly is from you.”
Nothing.
“Come on God. Is that what it’s going to be? I don’t want to just make this up in my head.”
Nada.
I went on with my day and kept that thought in the back of my mind. It never went away. I’m someone who enjoys people, but talking to strangers and sticking out in a crowd really isn’t my thing. (Ironically enough coming from a tall white guy that will stick out like a sore thumb for the next 11 months). I shared that thought with a couple people on my squad, but I still wasn’t certain it was from God or if it was from me. Then my squad mentor got up on stage and talked about evangelism. I love every time she talks about evangelism because it’s her favorite thing in the entire world, next to Jesus of course. After every talk with her I leave feeling inspired and ready to conquer the world. I can’t wait to preach the Gospel and share about Jesus, but then I don’t do it. I want to live boldly, but my very nature is against it. After the talk I felt almost certain being bold was what I was supposed to do on my trip, but then the feeling faded as it usually does.
A couple days passed.
These days included more sessions, three days of travel to Serbia, getting settled into our ministry in Sombor, developing relationships with the locals by playing games at night, doing prayer walks, meetings with my team, and not many breaks.
Those couple days were FILLED with opportunities to be bold, and yet I chose not to be. I didn’t talk to strangers. If I was talking to a local it was because they came to the church to play games, not because I approached them. Although my time was going great and I loved building relationships, I still hadn’t stepped out in faith and been bold. Every single one of these people deserved to hear the Gospel and about how much Jesus loved them, and I wasn’t sharing it with them. I began to doubt (there are those doubts I’m always struggling with) if the word boldness was really what the Lord wanted of me for this trip.
Then one night several people from my team wanted to grab a bite to eat. It was about 11 P.M. here in Serbia and we were pretty hungry since it had been so long since we’d eaten lunch. When we walked up to this little place called Via Gusto there was about 30-40 teens hanging out eating and chilling outside of the restaurant. I heard the word boldness resound in my head and I knew I needed to talk to them. I didn’t talk to them as I walked by. I walked past feeling defeated that I missed another opportunity to be bold and went into the restaurant and ordered my food. I prayed a little prayer, that if I was really supposed to live boldly this year I would have the bravery and boldness to approach the complete strangers and talk to them about Jesus. I mentioned it to my squad leader, Julie, and she encouraged me to do it. I kept having second thoughts.
What if they didn’t speak English, after all most people in Serbia speak Serbian.
What if they just ignored me.
What if I looked like an idiot.
What if. What if. What if.
I prayed for a little extra courage as I approached them with sandwich in hand. My heart was racing and mind was rushing with what if’s. As soon as I walked up I felt a supernatural peace. The idea wasn’t so crazy anymore. It wasn’t weird. It wasn’t uncomfortable. I asked them if they spoke English and they did. They were about 16 or 17 and we talked about normal things. Three of the guys played soccer and we connected in that regards. We got to know each other and I realized how silly I had been to not want to talk with them in the first place. I asked them about Jesus and if they went to church. They didn’t except for holidays. I got one of the guys numbers and we are meeting up in the next couple days to hangout and play games. I’m going to talk about Jesus more, and I hope that the Lord moves in them in exactly the way that they need.
It really wasn’t that hard. All I had to do was go out and do it. The hardest part is starting, but after that it’s not weird anymore.I can’t wait to share more about Jesus and all that he’s done for me. As small as something like this sounds, I really felt like it was a verification that I’m supposed to live boldly this year. That was the answer I needed. I didn’t need an answer at launch. I needed an answer in that exact moment. It hit me that being bold doesn’t mean I won’t embarrass myself, because I’ll do that plenty of times. I’m going to get weird looks and that’s ok. Jesus is worth feeling uncomfortable. I can’t wait to live boldly the rest of this year. I’m going to be bold and act out in boldness, that’s what my journey is going to look like. I can’t wait to share all that the Lord does through my boldness with you all. Pray that he uses me and that the Kingdom gets impacted due to my stepping out in faith.
