Faith moves the heart of Jesus to release the power of God, lack of faith limits the activity of God in our midst.”
-Dr. Rob Reimer, Deep Faith
This month I am reading a book called Deep Faith: Developing Faith that releases the Power of God. God is teaching me a lot about what I thought it meant to have faith and what it really means.
During the last debrief the Lord hit me pretty hard about the reality of my plans after the race. When I came on the race and up until then I had a set plan of doing the race and going back to Orlando and finding a teaching job and continue my career. At the debrief after month 6 I surrendered my future plans to him or so I thought. I told God I would go and do anything he asked of me and it was freeing. What I didn’t realize is that self consciously I was holding on the fact that I’m sure I can get a job with 6 years of title one experience under my belt. I didn’t even realize at the time I had that agreement with my self. But as I started to try and apply and attempt to make contact with administrators the struggle began. I realized something is messed up with my previous districts application and I can’t reapply as of now until it is figured out, I’m not getting any response from any administrator, and there aren’t a lot of jobs posted to begin with. Then comes debrief after month 8. We are doing listening prayer for our teammates. I asked for prayer about my future plans. They heard things like the end is near and you will be doing what you did in the past but not exactly the same thing and scripture with the same theme. It was some pretty tough listening prayer. I thanked my teammates and thought I was ok until worship that night.
That night while everyone else was worshipping I felt an intense fear take over and grip me. Fear I haven’t experienced in a long time. I was afraid of the unknown. I was afraid that God might ask me to do something different or something I don’t want to do. I was just plain afraid.
After processing with a squad leader the Lord told me that I had taken hold of a job or idea that he hadn’t given to me. I may end up teaching again but he hasn’t given me that yet and may never and I need to be okay with that. I realized the Lord is just asking me to wait on him to reveal his plan for me. I also realized that if I knew now my plans like some of my teammates do, I would most likely be less engaged in the last two months of the race and what God has for me here. I would be too preoccupied with the next one. It’s a good one because he is a good father but that he hasn’t told it to me. As much as I hate it I know and he knows it’s what best for me.
The reality is God is deepening my faith and preparing me for what is next. So, God is teaching me to trust Him and showing me that my job right now is to be obedient. When I am obedient I have seen people come to know Jesus, get healed, lives turned around, and I am more in tune with the voice of the Holy Spirit. I have learned to talk to him about things I never thought to talk to him about before. In Zimbabwe he told me to go bungee jumping and it was such an amazing experience. Yesterday he asked me to go back and pray for a young lady who was suffering from hiccups and was blind. I sat by her side for over an hour praying and worshipping with her. Her hiccups were healed and I am continuing to pray for her to see. It was an incredible experience I would have missed out on had I not listened.
Another part of the book talks about moving your prayer life from hoping to expecting to praying with certainty God is going to move. I am still working on this one but how beautiful it is when God’s people pray with certainty. That is what God is working on in me right now.
Do I know what I will be doing in two months? Nope! I have been sitting with the Lord every morning asking him. So far he just wants me to wait and trust him that it will be good. Most days I’m ok with that. Some days I struggle pretty hard with that. Some days I fail at trust completely. But it’s a process and God is gracious enough to love me through it all. So I wait and I trust. He has never failed me before and I know he will not now. For now I will leave you will these words…
“Faith is the great equalizer; faith is the great qualifier. Faith opens doors and creates opportunities for accessing the power of God against all odds.”
-Rob Reimer, Deep Faith
