I cried myself to sleep the last night we were in Myanmar.
I don’t do this often, actually I haven’t done it on the race since month 1! I have finally hit what we in the World Race world like to call zone B. The newness has long worn off and the world race has become my day to day life. It took 6 months for me to get here, but it has finally happened. People warned me I would get here and that I should be prepared, but I didn’t really listen.
At the beginning of this month our mentor spoke to us about how the World Race is very much like a marathon, or for me a half (I relate that to more since I have done one). The other night as I was crying out to Jesus and just telling him how much I wanted to be sleeping in my comfy bed at home, how tired I was, how I just wanted to see my family, friends, and snuggle my puppies back home, be eating what I want, back living on my teacher’s salary, not having to live in a community where most all my decisions affect someone else, not having to give or receive feedback, driving my car again, not have to play charades when ordering, really all the things. It all hit me at once and it hit me hard!
I realized I have hit mile 7! I did a half marathon (13.2 miles) last February and I remember feeling the same exact way around mile 7 or 8. I was determined and committed to finishing. I would not have quit unless I literally couldn’t because of a medical reason. But I wanted to! I wanted to quit more than anything in the world…except the simple fact that I wanted to finish what I had committed to and worked so hard for.
The other night I honestly wanted to quit. I wanted to pack up my bag or just dump it all in a dumpster somewhere and find the first flight back to America. #realtalk
But that’s not who God made me to be and that’s not what He wants for me or what I want for myself. You see friend feelings are futile!
My feelings the other night were not the truth! They were just what I was feeling in the moment. The Lord gave me strength to finish that race last year…ALL 13.2 miles and he didn’t even ask me to do that one. He knew that was something I wanted to accomplish for myself and He takes pleasure in helping his children do things they want to do.
But this race He called me to do! He asked me to do this and I have full confidence, no matter what I may feel at times, He is going to help me thrive the next 5 months of this race. I am ready for the second leg of this journey.
So, I’m retying my sneakers, grabbing another sip of the Holy Spirit, and pushing forward to the end. Last February I remember finishing that half-marathon was one of the most amazing feelings in the world and I know finishing this race will even be better. There’s no medal this time, but the joy of planting seeds and seeing people come to Christ all over the world. No medal could ever compare to that!
Finish line WE are coming for you! Jesus and I that is!!!
“Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses, surrounding us, let us lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is before us.”
-Hebrews 12:1
