98% of the time I do not particularly like silence I think that I can honestly admit to myself that I don’t like silence because my mind starts to wonder and drift away, I start to think what am I doing, what am I not doing, what I could/should be doing and how those things should be done etc. Somehow in this spiral of thinking doubt starts to creep in little by little, I start thinking about things like my plans for the future or what my plans are for the here and now. I become selfish in those moments of silence I become more about me instead of about God and his plans for me I think that most often times I sit with music, the television, or even just find myself always with someone to distract myself from the silence. Clearly my intent is to drown out the silence with noise so that my mind doesn’t wander away and that I don’t allow the doubt to take over. However silence is and can be a good thing it lets God speak to you without all the distraction of noise. Its weird though you have to almost train yourself to be okay with silence and to be in constant reminder of God’s plan and to take that silence to focus on God instead of jumping into the selfish boat. God can and will do much greater things than we can imagine or even think but we have to position ourselves to see the good that comes out of the silence.
Not too long ago I went through about a two week period where I found myself in silence a lot of times and oh boy did I let doubt creep in I let my selfish thinking set in and started to doubt even coming on the World Race I started to question alright God I said yes and I don’t see you, I don’t hear you, and I kind of felt like I was on this island where I couldn’t get off, I let my selfish thinking get in the way of what God was trying to do. I kept looking at what my plans could be for the end of this year and the beginning of next instead of focusing on God’s plan for me for on the World Race. I finally got out of my little selfish boat and put my focus back on God and the bigger picture and understood the plan more clearly, not that everything was fixed but rather I fixed my eyes on something different I took the dreadful silence and pointed my focus on God and he allowed me to enjoy the silence.
XOXO
Heather
