First my journal, now this? Could you possibly teach me lessons in a different style?
No, He can’t. Why can’t He? Because I just won’t listen. I’ve been asking Jesus a series of questions this past summer, including “How do I become more present?” and “How do I live focused on you?”
Deep down I knew what to do. I knew that, in order to experience Jesus (and life in general) fully, I would need to let myself focus soley on Christ. What did I do about that? Well, not much. I would make up my mind to be on my phone less, or read my Bible as soon as I opened my eyes in the morning, but those plans always failed after a day or two.
On day three of being on the World Race, I woke up early and went to the beautiful deck above our dorms to watch the sunrise and journal. Once the sun began to make its way over the mountains, I pulled out my lovely (and brand new) telephone to take a time lapse video that I planned to post to Instagram later on. In the middle of the video, however, my phone decided to shut off. I went to charge it a few minutes later, but absolutely nothing happened.
A few days passed, and I decided that I should probably work on getting it fixed. I spent five hours of my rest day attempting to get my phone to work, and still nothing happened. A few more days passed, and my teammate, Shane, tried to help me for a couple of hours. Twice it turned on, and both times it electrocuted me. My phone actually electrocuted me, as if to say what I already knew, There is a bigger reason for your phone not working than it simply not working.
I’ll be honest, I got pretty angry at God at that point. Here I am, 10 days into this nine month trip, and my phone hasn’t worked for a week.
I offered up most of my comfort to Jesus when I decided to go on this trip. I was okay with not sleeping in my own bed, I was okay with living with 40 people I barely knew, and I was even okay with not seeing my family for a while. Not having my phone, though? Yikes.
That’s my communication with home.
That’s my music to drown out the craziness of overwhelming moments.
That’s my way to escape via social media.
That’s why my phone is broken. I was using it as a comfort blanket, or an escape from life. I asked God to teach me how to be present wherever I am at, and He is. The temptation to escape by using my phone, even if it were for something good like videoing the sunrise, was too great. So He eliminated the possibility. And I’m sure I will have many moments of frustration because of this lack, but for now, I am really thankful.
This past week, I’ve been making a pros and cons list to not having my phone. Here is some of it:
“I won’t have my phone to take pictures!”
I guess you’ll just have to use that wonderful, high-quality camera you have.
“I can’t check Instagram or Facebook!”
Sure you can! You just have to be on your laptop, which won’t happen as often. Yay for learning to be present!
“I want to listen to music.”
Music, even worship music, has been my escape. No more escaping; wherever you are, be there. Also, when else will you be able to listen to really loud Spanish music being drowned out by motorcycles, puppies, goats, and people?
“I can’t talk to my family as often.”
That will be tough, but it is teaching you that you are only codependent on Christ.
“My phone was my watch; I don’t even know what time it is!”
It doesn’t hurt to ask.
This is a tough lesson. “Trust me,” He says over and over again. Trusting He has the best for me is difficult, but it is freeing. He will do what is best for me, even if it means breaking my phone.
