7 BILLION people on this earth. 99% of music devoted to love songs. Facebook and Instagram highlighting the best of life in relationships in ice cream shops. The biggest libraries in the world couldn’t hold the amount of romantic books, poems, articles written with love stories to entice readers to open the book, click the link or like the post! The romantic drama/romcom movie industry could feed the world ten times over with the amount movies made, and I won’t even mention Disney.
What is it about love that can’t keep us a way? What is it about a cheesy, gushy, gooey love story that makes my heart happy. What is it about our humanness that craves love from another human and are intrinsically wired to talk about it? You could google it I’m sure and find millions of answers, or in many conversations with your friends you could get a clue, but what started it all?
The author of love is God Himself, but most of the time I find myself authoring what I want to happen to carry out the desire of my heart. It happens over and over and over again. I’m not the only one, heck no I’m not the only one. Relationships all crave what we want. We want good, we want satisfying, we want the dream, we want humor, we want beautiful , we want divine, and we want something no one else has.
Yet all I see is the same thing in relationships, I don’t want something everyone else has. And I bet you don’t either.
I’ll give a littttttle back story.
I’m the girl who has never been in a relationship before, said “no” countless times and inherently feels bad for doing so. The guys I like never like me or are too passive, and the guys I don’t like, like me. I have a hard time believing anything Christian guys say, unfortunately, and am quite skeptical of guys that pursue me. I don’t want this to be a ratting out of guys or girls and what we are doing wrong. But on the contrary I want to bring to light what everyone doesn’t want to hear.
It’s not about you. It’s not about your expectations, it’s not about your happiness, and it’s not so you can be complete or satisfied. It’s not even about the “us”, and mostly that is what is portrayed in the world. Selfish desires, ambitions and motives leading to selfish marriages and broken hearts.
You can listen to as many sermons, talks, podcast or friend groups about love and relationships as you want to to try and justify yourself and your opinions. (I sure have.) I think I know the best way to handle life and love but that’s a load of crap. Because I don’t, and neither do the 7 BILLION people trying to find love and not be lonely.
At the end of the day this breaks the Father’s heart to see us like this, to want and chase after love in all the wrong places, because maybe then we will have it all. Right? To finally feel wanted and embraced for who we are.
I can hear the heartbreak of my fellow sisters with their different stories crying out while alone and trying to find some closeness to God who seems so far away and indifferent to their current state of heart.
I’ve come to the reality that God’s desires are beyond better then our own desires. If we choose them. He desires His bride to be focused on Him and Him alone. Within that relationship we find out who we are, that we are wanted and loved, that we are pursued, that every single dorky detail of our person is known and loved by Him. He is saddened when we look and seek after love that passes, just like the waves upon a sea, our relationships on earth though they seem tangible and definite only add beauty and grace to our lives, we will forever be in relationship with God. So why not make the most out of it and delight in the small amount of time we have in this life we have on earth to make the next so much sweeter?
I’ve had my fair share of feeling lonely and if you ask the lady siting next to you no matter her age her honest answer would be she has too.
But the difference is I’ve asked God to make me lonely so I can know the true meaning of fullness in Christ. I’ve asked God to protect and guard my heart so He can create in me a heart that is like His. I’ve asked God for a marriage to look like His. In return He has asked me to wait on Him, and I am stubbornly willingly to do so. He knows me intimately more then any man will ever. God will never leave me. Even in the moments of feeling lonely, God meets me there in the midst and whispers promises, not to fix the feeling but to guide me back to the cross, the ultimate declaration of true tangible love.
I’m a girl. I love love. I smile cheek to cheek and blush to where you wouldn’t know if I was a girl or a red hot tomato. Yeah I love love but so does God. The author of an unending love story with you if you choose to hand over the pen and paper.
#hardertosaythendo
#Iamonelesslonelygirl
And always remember marriage is the most selfless thing you could ever do.
I could include scripture but the Bible itself is God’s love letter to us, so go and open it and find the love you were meant to have.
Love,
A girl who is in love with Jesus.
