In your mind do you ever tell yourself “whoa, I could never do that or I could never be that”? Then, at the same time, aspire to be and do those things? You have so many dreams in your heart but don’t know what to do about them, because, hey, you are only a 22 year old white girl. Or a 60 year old. Or a 40 year old. Who cares, you all have dreams, right? That’s what someone told you at some point. But what holds you back?
Most likely, it’s fear. Fear of failure. Fear that I can’t do it.
I’ve been on a struggle bus with God. I feel like He wants so much out of me and I don’t think I can achieve it. I feel inadequate, unqualified, and not good enough yet people tell me all the time they see so much potential.
And I’m done. Done with wrestling with myself. This is me where I write a letter to myself, the part that says I’m weak. I’m inadequate. I’m unqualified and not enough.
“Dear Weaker Self,
You know who you are. The voice that says stay back and sit down. The one that wants to please the whole crowd and not get caught in crossfire. The one who’s flesh is weak and lacks dedication. The one who puts fear on the back of everything. The one that is driven by my shyness and timidity. Labeled the “weaker vessel”. You throw out words like inadequate, unqualified, and not good enough into my unspoken vocabulary. You have made your way into my faith. But that stops here.
I will stand up and step up. Jesus is my everything and if He is then I am who He says I am and will do everything He has commanded me to do. He is my source of life and in Him I lack nothing. I am a strong women. I am bold. I am kind. I am fiercely devoted to my King, and I am a leader. Because that’s the way He made me. Weaker self you have tried, and you have unfortunately succeeded in the past but you should know I have died to self and it is no longer I who live but Christ who lives through me. God is going to take you and live through your weakness. It’s not you anymore. It’s God.
So goodbye weak self, you have had your chance, but Gods got the victory.
Love, a strong women of God”
I’m not the first that thought God couldn’t use because of fear and weaknesses, throughout the Bible He choose those people and fills them with incredible faith to wreck what others think about God. God can use your faith, be fearless, if you have to write a cheesy goodbye to those things that are holding you back from spreading Jesus then do it. It’s freeing giving everything to Jesus. Always.
As some of you know this past week I have been very sick. During that time our squad had team changes over a short debrief, I was asked to team lead an all girls team. I accepted because I knew God wanted me to do this. It was hard showing excitement when I was constantly worried about my stomach.
I don’t think it was a coincidence that I was asked to lead when I was feeling weak. Hint hint, God was showing me that yes I am not always going to be strong every second of everyday but if I depend on Him and go to Him for everything, I will be the leader He wants me to be. Not what I want to be. The team have called ourselves Team Wild Pursuit. Wildly pursuing Jesus, wildly pursuing His kingdom wherever we go, wildly pursuing love for one another and wildly being pursued by our King. More details to come about my team. I want to thank God for the challenge of team leading and thank my supporters for all your prayers they are healing!!!
Love, Gabby (the strong women of God)
Everyone knows that
I was the good girl
I did my best to
Make everyone happy with me
Then I found out that
It was impossible to please
The whole crowd
So I spoke up and I spoke out
I learned that love doesn’t hold its tongue
And passion doesn’t bow to what they think
It’s You and me
Sometimes it’s painful to be brave
To look fear in the face and know your name
To find your strength
-Steffany Gretzinger
That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong 2 Corinthians 12:10
