GUEST BLOG BY MY MOM:
Thank you Mom for writing this beautiful, heartfelt message. I will forever cherish the memories we made in Rwanda and I can’t wait for more!
To share my heart about my daughter has never been hard for me. Life with her from day one has truly been a blessing. The world race decision wasn’t something I approved of from the beginning and have had my struggles while she’s been gone. I heard words at the beginning from other parents saying this would also be my “journey”. I found myself resenting this organization and to be honest up into month six it was truly the hardest thing I’ve gone through. One Sunday in mid-January while my husband was out of town, I went to church feeling so broken and sad and missing Gabrielle so much. The service was so amazing and the tears flowed. My prayers to God this entire journey have been for him to please keep her safe and don’t allow anything to happen to her. I have been so sad and our limited contact has been so difficult to understand. I found I had become almost angry at this journey of hers for taking her away from me. I’ve not been a selfish person most of my life; I give non-stop until I’m empty. I asked God why a lot and questioned even why Gabrielle would choose to leave.. wasn’t I a good mom? As I sat in church and the tears flowed I found myself asking these questions and praying for a peace to not worry and an understanding of why Gabrielle would choose to leave us for a whole year when she just moved back home from college. After the service that day I left with a completely different attitude- a comfort and peace had come over me that I hadn’t felt in such a long time. An internal joy and peace that I knew was from God.
I had to admit I had anxiety about what to expect when I flew to spend a week with Gabrielle in Africa. What would the other parents be like? Can I be strong enough not to act like a crybaby the whole time while I’m with her this week? The flight getting to her was a very long two-day trip. I couldn’t sleep because I was so excited. When arriving to Kigali I checked into a local hotel and showered and crashed into bed. I was so glad I had flown in a day early so I could sleep and not show up exhausted. The next day I woke up and got ready to take a taxi to the meeting place with all the other parents. After a few delays we boarded the buses to where we would meet our kids and be staying for the next week. We were the first bus to pull in and you could hear the kids screaming and cheering and the tears started to flow. It was so dark but I was second off the bus and started scanning the crowd. I didn’t have to scan for long, I saw her running; we embraced and hugged and loved and cried. I can’t explain the emotions and joy and comfort I get when her and I hug and connect. She truly has been the best gift God has given me in my life and I love her so much.
As the week unfolded and I was able to meet other parents and serve alongside my daughter all the anxieties and doubts were washed away. Seeing her in her element, loving the kids and people of Rwanda is something I’ll never forget. When we drove to the villages outside of town the children would run alongside the vans stretching their hands and arms out, in hopes of just having that human contact and connection with these strangers coming into their village. This often overwhelmed me to an emotional state that would just wash over me and I would cry and silently pray for God to use me to give all I can while I am here this week with them. As a group we committed to work alongside the people and refurbish these washed away roads and dig trenches to help the situation in the future not to repeat. I would walk to my location that the group was assigned and along the way the kids would just approach me for a hug and some would just grab my hand and walk alongside me. I didn’t find it difficult at all the reach back and hug back. It was truly the most amazing experience. To be given the opportunity to go to the school where Gabrielle had served the weeks prior to me coming to Rwanda and see the children’s faces light up when we handed out Bibles will forever be imprinted on my heart. I watched the team Gabrielle has served with pray with the children holding their hands and telling them that although they are leaving the are giving them a book that could provide the peace and love that they long for. Each team member and their parents now feel like family and part of this treasured experience that I will forever remember. Watching my daughter care for others with such joy and no complaints and to hear her pray for them and over them, changed my life in a way that is almost hard to put into words.
I will continue to miss her and pray for her safety these next four months but with a complete peace of mind knowing she’s doing what she loves and is causing a ripple effect around the world that will last for years to come. Thank you, Gabrielle, for being a daughter that I look up to and am so proud of. Thank you for making my job as a mom easy and for sharing your whole heart with those in need. I look forward to the years ahead and hope that I’ll have other opportunities to serve alongside you. No matter what path you choose, I know as long as you have God at the head of that choice it will be the one he guides you to do.
Stacie Sauers
