The name for the organization that we worked with during this month is called Sending Hope International. This is such a fitting name for this beautiful ministry full of beautiful people. As a missionary, I have the mindset of helping others. When I come into a new ministry I ask myself, “How can I make a difference in the lives of these people?” I think one of the questions I never ask myself beforehand, but always reflect on in the end is, “How are these people going to make a difference in my life?” I underestimate the power of them ministering to me every single time. In India, it was the children at the tutoring facility that taught me humility. It was the people at the Prayer Tower in Nepal who taught me endurance and perseverance in my faith and proved the power of prayer. They loved on me more than I would have ever been able to love on them.
And then Thailand… wow! These forty little girls and the staff have taught me SO much. They have opened my eyes to a new way of life entirely.
Peace, the secret superhero that cares for these girls, has taught me how to be a humble servant of the Lord regardless of who is watching. She has taught me how to be secretly incredible and not rely on the reassurance of others. She serves with every ounce of her being and refuses to accept the credit, because she knows it’s all God.
The other staff have also played a large part. Sharon, Mana, Noi, and Pong serve with ALL of their hearts. They love the girls as if they were their own. They do everything a mom and dad would do but for forty girls instead of a few and they do it as a team. They are the body of Christ. They teach and lead the girls to follow Jesus and serve Him first in ALL things. They are gardeners, chefs, translators, English teachers, booboo kissers, goodnight kissers, and SO much more.
The girls…
I cant even put into words what I have learned from these forty beautiful, brown-eyed wonders. Humility, servitude, love, more love, joy, peace, kindness, patience, goodness, and a little extra love sprinkled on top. And that’s just the beginning of what I’ve realized that I’ve learned. Days, weeks, months, and maybe years down the road I will realize even more of what an impact they had on my life during this short time. Having learned so much, it was hard to say goodbye.
You know that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you forget something and you can’t think of what it is? Well, I have that feeling. As I hugged 40 little girls multiple times and told them I loved them in Thai and gave as many kisses as I possibly could… I neglected my stuff. My mind didn’t ponder where my backpack was or if I had everything packed. My mind pondered how I could love these sweet girls more; how I could give more of myself away. I hugged and kissed my way into the taxi and had no second thought about my belonging. In the moment none of that mattered. As I entered the taxi with my team and drove down the long driveway with all 40 girls running after us screaming goodbye, it hit me. I realized what I had forgotten. It wasn’t my pack or a phone charger or my passport. I left behind a piece of my heart. I left behind love. I left behind a billion hugs and kisses and to be honest I don’t want any of it back. I loved recklessly this month and it wasn’t easy. It was hard to give myself away and sometimes not have it received the right way. It was hard to only be able to say a few words because of a language barrier. It was hard, but it was worth it.
My prayer for those 40 beautiful little ladies is that through every hug, kiss, smile, laugh, or hand held that they saw Jesus. I don’t care if they remember me. I want them to remember Jesus. I want them to remember how they felt when I hugged them and kissed them and know that that’s how God feels about them all the time.
The best part about all of this is that it wasn’t a goodbye, it was a see you later. Whether I see them again in this lifetime or not, I know for sure I will see them in heaven. In heaven we will have no language barrier. We can talk and hug and kiss and love and remember all of the fun times we had together and it will be amazing. So although I’m sad, it’s that thought I’ll hold onto. I’ll use that pit in my stomach to remind me of the goodness of God. I’ll use that feeling to remind me to continue to recklessly love everyone I encounter, in the hopes that through it they see Jesus. I’ll hold onto to the hope that I received this month.
Thank you so much for reading!! Thank you for your continued prayers and support! Please keep these sweet girls at Sending Hope in your prayers! And pray for Cambodia, we will be teaching English!
Thank You,
Gabbie 🙂
