When I came on the race I expected to change.. but not this much.
Before the race I was scared to live life. I didn’t want to go to college. I didn’t want to leave New Braunfels.
I was living a very very comfortable life. I was living a life of routine. Sleep for as long as I could before my dad yelled at me to get up, go to school (when High school was still a thing in my life) Hang out around the house, go to work, On mondays go to Young Life, go home, spend time with Jesus and then bed.
A constant cycle that I would switch up or add something every once in a while.
I was okay with my life. I had my group of people I would spend time with.
I thought I was living my best possible life.
How wrong was I.
Living a life of abandonment and a life of constant community has been the best possible thing for me.
It has pushed me to be okay with no set schedule.
It pushed me to break down all of my walls.
It pushed me to rely on God when I was tired of living with any number of 4 to 40 other people.
I have changed. A lot. And I am very thankful for it.
Before the race I was always looking for approval in other people.
Now I find it in the Lord.
Before the race I was scared to voice my opinion on most things.
Now I know that people do value my opinion.
Before the race I hated the way I looked.
Now I know that God loves every single part of me…even my flaws.
Before the race I wore a mask filled with the best parts of other peoples lives that I wanted.
Now I am truly myself and have never been happier.
I was scared to come home for a while because I have changed so much. I was scared that nobody would like the new me. I was scared of the idea of finding a community outside of YoungLife people and my church. I was scared of so much.
But I am not scared anymore. Because right now I am the best version of myself that I have ever been. I am confident about how I act and the way I speak. I know that God is going to lead me to the community I need in both NB and eventually Tyler.
So no I’m not the same person…. I am God’s daughter who is going live her life in the only way she knows how…. For him.
I will be home in 8 days and this is my last last blog unless something crazy happens….
So this is me signing off of my bog!
Thanks so much for reading and keeping up with my journey
Emry
Almost world race alumni
