I’m on a plane to Ecuador right now sitting sprawled out on two seats (thankful for the extra space) trying to formulate thoughts about these last four months in Africa. I’m searching for a way to express the many things bouncing around my head. Looking back on it I have so many pictures come to mind. I see endless classrooms of students and me falling in love with them all. I see blackboards filled with lessons from things ranging from soil erosion to naming ways we can worship God. I see a preschool graduation for my hosts sweet little girl. I see my team sitting around the dinner table uncontrollably laughing night after night. I see Victoria Falls and the wonder that filled me as I stood staring. I see my kindergarten students falling in love with the story of the Good Samaritan and acting it out with such pride and excitement. I see myself being led by a group of girls as they show off their sustainable farm with gladness in-between classes. I see all of these things and plenty more with such vividness. I am able to look back and see moments that deeply impacted me. More importantly though, these past four months in Africa had me feeling so many emotions in life altering ways. I can see my heart slowly melting and becoming one with God’s. He’s filling in all the brokenness, pride, frustration, and unsettledness, things that once claimed so much of my being. Looking back I feel my heart explode day after day. I can pinpoint so many moments and see the Lord working in ways that are truly good. I feel His comforting presence as I cried on Thanksgiving and Christmas, wanting nothing more than to be home with my family. I’m able to feel the peace given to me as I struggled with restless in Zambia and how He taught me to sit still and simply remain open to where He has me. I feel my heart jump out of my chest as I walk through the Malawian village surrounded by kid after kid, reaching for my hands all at once. I feel the helplessness that so often fills my head as I come face to face with poverty and people suffering in ways I don’t always know how to fix. I also feel the way God convicts me as I walk through these moments, telling me it is my job to live in a way that helps make this world a better place bound by His love. I feel all of these things so deeply to the point where I can hardly keep it to myself. God has consistently been molding me and while there is naturally some heartache and confusion in it all, there is an abundance of joy and assurance in who God is and in what He has put me here to do – something I have never been able to fully walk in until now. Zimbabwe, Zambia, and Malawi introduced me to a life more rooted in the Lord. As I was preparing to write this blog I came across a passage that has become my prayer moving forward into this next season of life: Proverbs 5 20 My child, pay attention to what I say. Listen carefully to my words. 21 Don’t lose sight of them. Let them penetrate deep into your heart, 22 for they bring life to those who find them, and healing to their whole body. I pray that I’m able to take all of these emotions and experiences and let them truly sink in, giving me life. I pray that I allow all of the things God has taught me to impact the way I live each moment.
