In Malawi, my team and I had the honor of serving in a Crisis Nursery, as well as with widows. I know personally, these two interactions impacted me in a way I never could have guessed.
Typically, on Wednesdays from 9:30 am until noon, we served with the Crisis Nursery. This is a place where children, mainly babies and toddlers who have lost thier mothers and do not have fathers, go until they are either adopted or they are to old to be there and are taken to an orphanage. Upon arriving, we would wash our hands, take off our shoes and enter the building waiting for the babies to be brought out to us. The first time we went there, I was handed a baby that was roughly a month old and was a twin. As this precious baby was sleeping in my arms, I could not help but think about how fortunate I was to be holding this bundle of joy and how children are such a gift. I was also thinking about how this baby along with the others, do not have the priviledge of going home to a mom and a dad who would love them, teach them right from wrong, encourage them, point them to Jesus. I thought about their reality and how they would not have parents tell them how proud they were of them, or lay in bed with them at night to calm them down when they are scared. Yet, I also thought about how they get to interact with other kids who understood them and could relate to them. I thought about how they would quickly have deep and close relationships with each other and others in the future. I thought about how this experience in their lives will lead them to love hard and love abundantly. While I was reflecting on these things, and holding this sleeping baby, the door opens and a lady declares that its lunch time. Some of us start getting the kids ready by putting bibs on them. The lady comes back out with bowls and a large pot. She then tells us, that we will be feeding the children. She then proceeds to put what looks like porridge in their bowls. “This is all they get?” I thought looking at what they were eating. The children however did not seem to mind, as they kept putting food in their mouths. To be honest, I was heartbroken. Here i am able to go to a nice home and cook whatever I am able to with what i have, and these children are given this and water and not really anything else. I was gently reminded by the Lord that when he says he will care for our needs he will do so even more than he cares for the birds and the plants. Here is God showing them his provision by giving them something to eat and them being content with what they have. I have come to realize my heart in that situation, and that i battle with discontentment and needing more, as well as ungratefulness for what i have. God is so good and amazing to show them he cares for them and sees them, and provides for them, even if it is with a bowl of porridge, and a place to stay for the time being. On the last day of being at the nursery, as a child was in my lap and we were playing, a couple comes in and actually adopts one of the babies. As they are signing papers, they get the baby ready, and present him to his new mom and dad, who hug him and hold him and say “hello little one.” As the new dad holds his son that is now his and the mom starts feeding him, i look away as i could no longer contain myself, as tears stream down my face, and i look at the baby in my lap that has now fallen asleep, with her head on my shoulders. I thought to myself, that this must be what God feels when he holds us after he adopts us and calls us his own, and says, “hello there my child”. And in this moment i think with my heart pounding in my chest as my heart is full, that more than anything I want to be more than just a Father but a Dad who embraces his children. The desire for this was burning in me so much, as well as the desire to adopt So that not only a child can have a father, but also be reminded what God did for us.
On Mondays, we also went to minister to widows next to the church we attended. They welcomed us with songs and dance, as we shared words of encouragement and prayed for them. We also heard their stories and how they became a group that saw a need to minister to these women by starting a bible study, but realizing they are still going home to their children with no food and little clothing. We Learn that in this culture, the women stay at home as the men, make the money to put food on the table. When the husband dies, the women whom have not learned many work skills other than tending to the home, are put in a rough situation and are unable to provide for their families. This gave the idea to help teach these women not only bible study, but skills such as sewing so they could make things to sell, thus attaining money to feed their families. So as we bought things and just donated money, we were helping support their economy and provide food for these women to take care of their families. Personally, I wanted to do more and had the desire to support in any way that i could because of the love i had for them, and wanting them to not be in need because of it. Through this God showed me that when we truly and genuinely love him, we desire to do more of the things he tells us, not out of obligation because we have to, but out of willingess and love, and wanting to, which is actually showing that God is at work in you, as it is written in Philippians. Just in the same way I wanted to help those women and love and care for those babies.
Even in the midst of my frustrations with some of the things i was experiencing in Malawi and some of the cultural norms, God showed me some beautiful things, that broke my heart. Even in the midst of my own brokeness with things in my personal life, as long as I was willing he was willing to use me yet speak to me and my heart all at the same time. My time in that country, was special and I would not change it for anything. I am grateful for the ways God is shaping my heart and making my character more like Jesus, and renewing my mind. I am grateful for the way he is stiring my heart, and giving me his understanding as to why he says what He says, and showing me His heart in the process.
Until next time,
Your student,
Dyl
