It has been a beautiful and hard month here in Panama. New sights, new smells, new people, and new foods. Even though I have seen and encountered so many incredible moments, none of them compare to the one person who makes saying goodbye so hard.
A couple weeks back, I introduced you to Moses and shared just a little bit of his story. Moses is a 9 year old kid that has a heart of gold, and when you meet him, you become so captivated by him, that it is like he is the only person in the world to you right now. He is deaf and has what is Called kinslers disease, which is a genetic disease that effects the skin. his skin is paper thin and has open and closed sores in various locations of his body. Just a side note, in this culture, if you have any disability at all you are seen as a curse. Moses does not have a dad around and his mom has a shunning attitude towards him, and so his aunts and grandma tend to him and take care of him.
Over the past month, every time my team and I go to his village, we are side by side connected to each other. I have seen him 100% embrace who he is and display himself to those around him. He looks out for those around him, he loves fiercely, and trusts easily. he meets everyone where they are and seeks to put a smile on their face. Without speaking a word, God has used him to make such a big impact on not only those in his village, but anyone he comes into contact with.
Other than my best friend, there is no one I have ever connected with so deeply very quickly. He has taught me so much in such a short time, and tonight was so emotional, as I have had to give him one final hug and say goodbye. Tears streamed down my face as I waved goodbye and watched him walk out the door. The memories of the day flash back to my mind as I recount the numerous waves he and I swam through and jumped over in the ocean today. Being able to hold his fragile hand and guide him through raging waters during a storm was magical. He confidently pushed through it with a big smile on his face as sea water splashed his face.
All that goes through my head now is the thoughts of him going back home with no male influence and having to keep his head held high when he practically has to take care of himself. I Think of living conditions he has to return to, and who will love him and give him the world. I know I will have to trust God that He has him. He had him before I came, and he has him, as I leave. I know that our hosts will continue to love him unconditionally and point him to Jesus. But truth be told, it freaking sucks and I was not ready for this goodbye, or for his impact on my life.
Moses, thank you for the gift of knowing you and coming into my life. I will always think of you and carry our time together in my heart always. thank you for showing me a love without words.
until next time.
