At the beginning of September, I was reading the book of John where Jesus was talking to Nicodemus. I had passed the part of the conversation where Jesus tells of God’s love and believing in him, to be saved and not condemned. Verses 19-21 of chapter 3, which is where this conversation can be found says: “This is the verdict, light has entered the world, but people loved the darkness because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear their deeds be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done has been done in the sight of God.”
After reading that, I kind of stopped and just sat pondering over that verse and what it means and what God was telling me through it. Eventually, I felt and believed that God was encouraging vulnerability and transparency in my relationship with him. He wanted me to understand that He wanted all parts of me exposed to him, so that I could dwell deeper in his love, learn more of who he is and allow him to work and reach others through those exposed parts. After learning this and hearing him tell me this, I liked the idea of it, but it took a while before I actually followed through and did it.
I was able to be vulnerable and expose those hidden parts of myself, both good and bad to the Lord, and every time, He was there, close to me, comforting me and pouring out his love. I had told God about those hidden parts before, but this time, I sensed him urging me to expose them in a different way. Within our relationship, he and I both knew we could be honest with each other, and tell each other any and everything. But, God always does immeasurably more thank we ask or think, and He leads us deeper still and draws us out of our comfort zones. With that being said, this verse came up more and more over the last months of 2016 in different ways.
One of those ways was through my former boss, who sat me down, and told me that she observed me as a careful, guarded person, who needed to share my life more. She was right. I was careful about everything I did, as a means to be right and play it safe. Yes, at first I was surprised by her comment, because I did share my life with people and I told people my struggles. I was vulnerable, what more could I do and how much more did I need to be asked for things?
That is when I thought more of this verse, and saw that God was asking me to be transparent and not just vulnerable. Within this verse, it talks about how people are afraid to come into the light and they hate it because of the fear of being exposed, bare, shamed, kind of like being naked before the Lord. People are fearful that if they do that, they will be condemned or punished, however, it is the total opposite of what God does. He does not condemn and it actually is what God wants us to do. He wants us to come before him bare and exposed so that He can do what he does best; Love, and transform.
When God showed me that, He also told me that he did not just want me to expose myself before him, but to bring it into the light so that others may see of his Love, grace, mercy, and desire to have us, as well as be glorified from it. It is a big thing for me to do, but after talking with some of my squad mates last night, and hearing about transparency, I knew it was exactly what God is leading me to do for not just my good, but for his purposes and his glory as a means to bear witness.
With that being said, over the next couple of weeks, I am plan to obey God in this way by blogging a series called “Bringing it to the Light” based off of the verses talked about here. I am wanting to expose my struggles, and those hidden parts so that you not only get to see me and who I am as you journey with me on this experience, But hopefully you get to encounter God’s grace, mercy, love, and whatever else God speaks to you about through this, to draw you closer to him, and get to know him more.
Transparent is my word for this New Year, and it is fitting for everything that God is doing in my life. I am terrified, scared, but assured and at peace that God works. So Lord I’m ready now
