I believe that The Lord gives us desires and gifts to guide the path of our life. And I believe that our life has seasons of doing different things. This season in life I am on the race; discovering myself more and who God is more. This season in life has probably brought me the most growth and built the most faith and trust of all the seasons I’ve had. But in a few short months this season of my life will be over. I’ll be back home living and working and trying to navigate my next season.
But that is exactly what this blog has brought me to talk about, my next season and what I feel the Lord is asking of me.
So in highschool I had no desire to learn or further my education. I hated school the few times I actually went and was lazy and/or bored most of the time. I didn’t know what college would look like for me or what I wanted to pursue. I have all these passions, talents, and desires and I didn’t know how to incorporate all of them throughout my schooling and career. That is what initially what made me look into gap-year programs. And I don’t have to tell you the rest, but now I’m here! One of my biggest prayers and requests of God on this trip however was that He would reveal to me what I should do with my life and what His plans for me were. Almost halfway through month 3, at The Ranch He did just that!
But before we get there, let me explain some things. So I discovered some of my spiritual gifts months after this. I had always been told I carry these. Taking the test was helpful but after getting my results I had confirmation and they went hand-in-hand with what my future would hold.
Here are some: Discerning of Spirits; this makes sense because I carry empathy HEAVILY. More than just understanding people and putting myself in their shoes, but actually feeling in my spirit what others spirits feel. Hurting at the same level of hurt, being joyful at the same level of joy, understanding the Holy Spirit and what the atmosphere hold, and everything in between.
Before I knew what empathy was I always just thought I was relatable and understood people well. And though that is all apart of it, its so much more, and all my empathetic/discerning of spirits people know where I am coming from!
Next, Knowledge and Wisdom; this was another one people had told me I carried. I thought it was because I had walked through a lot of things others had and could give them advise. But again, this is more than that. It is about using life experiences to help others and walk through and guide them, but it’s also about understanding and having knowledge on a deeper level on things.
One time my World Race Coach put it like this; in the book The Giver, he is receiving all the memories and information and he sees color and feels pain and joy and just knows about things on such a deeper level. He tries sharing that with others, but they don’t have the capacity to know what he knows and they have never felt how he’s felt.
She told me I was the same way. I see, feel, and understand things on this much deeper level than others. I was so honored when she said this. I thought wow she thinks so high of me , but then I remembered this was something God gave me and felt so blessed and loved to be able to carry this gift. Though sometimes Ive seen satan can use that to isolate me and make me feel misunderstood or unheard. At times I didn’t want this gift. But the Lord reminded me that I can use this gift as a tool to help others and to glorify His kingdom.
Which brings me to what I feel like the Lord has shown me what His plan for me is:
Counseling and Art Therapy!
I have always been open to that specific career path and I big heart for special needs and women in prison so I believe eventually both of these groups of people will be my ministry. One thing I love to do is listen and understand people’s hearts. I love to hear how they are and what they are walking through and helping them through it. And another one of my gifts is Craftsmanship/Artistic-which explains why I love art and why I want to incorporate art therapy into counseling. Basically God sees my heart and desires and knows what He’s doing!
I was so excited when He revealed this to me! I couldn’t wait! I started applying to schools and searching for which ones were the right fit. Then 2 months later I got another word from Him…
Not Right Now.
I immediately questioned and for sure thought this was myself. Because, like I said, in high school I has no desire to further my education. But since being on the field I had realized what a luxury it actually was and how blessed we are in America with education-but maybe a little part of me was still holding on to that ‘I hate school’ mindset.
Then the Lord reminded me of another passion I had-writing.
Recently I have been asking God for more radical faith and faith walk and this was where He would reveal to me what this looked like for me.
So fast forward a couple weeks and the thought of ‘not right now’ and ‘writing’ had been on my mind. I was talking to my teammate and basically just sharing everything on my heart and where I was at, and she turned to me and said she felt like she should tell me (aka the Holy Spirit) that I should write a book next year.
The thought of taking another year off had been floating around, but I didn’t know what for, and I had this passion for writing the Lord reminded me of. But I was scared.
What would people say? What would my parents say?
Lots of people told me before I left that, “if you take a year off you’ll never want to go back to school…” were they right?
God reminded me that I don’t live by American standards, but rather by His. I had been asking for a radical faith walk. Was I going to listen to Him and take this year off to pursue Him fully and write about it, or was I going to talk the talk and not walk the walk?
So, my dearest supporters, I wanted to tell you that once I leave the field I am starting a new blog and writing a book!! School and my dream of counseling and art therapy is still on the table, but not in this next season of life. This next season I’m giving it to The Lord and anticipating what He will bring from it.
While praying through what exactly next year looks like for me I’ve gotten a lot of words like trust and patience from God. But also He spoke to me, by reminding me how much I loved Cambodia and the impact my students had on me and gave me an overwhelming desire to go back. At first I labeled it as a dream of mine, but then God reminded me that with Him anything is possibly and my dreams should be goals.
So as of right now, next year I’ll be writing, working, and planning my next trip to Cambodia!
If you all want to be in prayer for me, I would MUCH appreciate it! This is something so new for me, but I am so excited to see what The Lord will bring from this! Thanks again for reading and supporting, Love you all!!!
