Since being in Guatemala I have had some heart changes.
Changes with how I desire my relationship with Jesus to look like.
Changes with how I view God’s creation and seeing His people and nature through His eyes.
Changes in my attitude.
But the biggest of all I have had a change in is the amount of Peace I carry.
Since being on this trip many people have told me I carry peace and I never fully understood. In my eyes I always saw myself as someone who let my circumstances define my mood and what my soul felt. I was very much the victim.
I let trials and hardships determine what state Jesus and I were in and what our relationship looked like.
But the race wrecked that mindset, along with many other things. This trip for me started as just a long mission trip were I would serve others and show them Jesus through my actions.
And although that as been a part of what this trip is, it honestly has been one of the smaller parts.
It more has been about my heart and the changes that God is making to refine me into the women He desires for me to be. He has been showing me more of His character and giving me aspirations to take more of those character traits on for myself.
He has also been revealing more of my spiritual gifts and giving me passions for new gifts that He has for me.
One of these being speaking in tongues!
I deeply want to be baptized in the Holy Spirit and receive the gift of speaking in tongues. So one night we prayed and worshipped for well over an hour for it.
But nothing happened. Some of the girls felt that we had hit this wall that was stopping me from receiving this freely given gift by God. So we prayed some more and ended the night with the idea that we would try again in a couple days. That night Jesus spoke to Sammie, a friend and one of the girls there that night and He said that Satan was trying to put a wall up to stop me from receiving this gift because the repercussions from being baptized in the Holy Spirit would be so wonderful that it makes Satan fearful. Then He asked her to invite the Holy Spirit with prayer and worship every night until it happens.
How cool.
I could have easily become discouraged, but the Lord has something so big in store for me that Satan is fearful.
So the past week or so, with the exceptions of a few days, we have done just as Jesus asked. And each time we feel more and more peace and get closer and closer to tearing that wall down. And as each day passes I have had confirmation and word from the Lord through others and through scripture. Although it hasn’t happened yet, I am expectant and excited for what will happen and what the Lord will use me for. Also each time we do it, more people come and join us in worship and prayer-which is so cool to see the body coming together.
Jesus is so cool and has been changing me a lot. Before I would have asked selfishly for something from Him and when it didn’t happen, given up. But He has shown me how to fight for what I want and fight for them hard. Even if this battle takes the rest of my life, I will fight for it. If I receive it tonight or the day before I die, I can fight for it with peace knowing that in the end Jesus will triumph and Satan will fall!
Thanks Jesus & thanks for reading and supporting, much love
