In 1519, Hernan Cortes arrived on the shores of the New World with 600 men. As the story goes, Hernan either had a perceived fear his men would try to retreat home, or his men actually refused to go ashore because of the comfort they found in the ships which they knew they would not have on land. Thus, Hernan lined his men on the shore and then sent his generals back to light the ships on fire, communicating the message that seeking comfort and retreat was no longer an option. Hernan and his men continued to move on to conquer the Aztec empire.
Honestly, I have no idea if this story is true or not. Every source I’ve read online seems to indicate that it happened, or at least that something similar took place. However, I also haven’t really found any sources more credible than Wikipedia… (sorry to all the English/History teachers reading this!). But formalities and niceties aside, no story has more accurately portrayed my walk with God in the past month and a half. I have played For King and Country’s song “Burn the Ships” on repeat almost daily since the first week of August.
Backstory: For those of you who don’t know, I’d been living and working in Bellingham, WA since September of last year. I worked as a Case Manager at a private foster care agency full time. My housing situation was spotty, but I always had a roof to sleep under, thanks to the Lord’s kind provision and the love and care of some generous, amazing friends (shout out to Elsa, Hannah, and the Hansens!). It was a challenging year adjusting back to life in the States after the World Race, but I was finally feeling settled, like I had my life together, like things were stable and I could begin to save up money to work towards the deep dreams on my heart (fostering, in particular).
Through a turn of unusual (but obviously God-inspired) events, housing plans that I had in the works for over a year fell through and I found myself re-evaluating what I thought this next season would look like. In an instant, everything I had been working towards was flipped upside down on its head.
For those of you who know me, you know I’m not one to sit around. I have a list of dreams longer than my lifespan could possibly allow and I’m determined to chase every single one of them (hehehehe because with God all things are possible #bankingonit). The day I found out I had no place to live come September, I was shocked to find myself scrolling Adventure in Missions Gap Year page. Gap Year is AIM’s program for 18-21 year olds. They spend 9 months abroad serving in 3-4 countries for 1-3 months each. The squad leadership position is open to those who have previously been on 11n11 or Gap Year. Squad leaders handle any emergencies on the field, communicate with the AIM office back home and the squad, pour into the racers, coordinate logistical details, and ensure that the squad is safe and healthy during their time on the field.
I had pursued squad leading Gap Year back in June 2018 when I got off the race but it didn’t seem to be the right time. I carried the dream in my heart, but accepted it was one of those pipe dreams that would always be there and never come to fruition. Fast forward a year and a half, and there I was again, scrolling the page, and wondering if God had a whole new plan for me than I ever imagined.
Following some prayer, I sent an email to AIM inquiring if they needed another squad leader for the routes launching in September and received the response back that they needed one more. You can imagine the nervous chuckle I made as I read the email and realized that leaving the country for another nine months was becoming a very real possibility. I’ll spare you all the details. In short, I prayed, applied for the position, had two interviews, and was accepted within a week. Three days later, I put in my two week notice, moved home on the last day of August, spent five days with my family, packed, got all my last minute documents in order, then flew out to Atlanta on September 5th, and launched with Y Squad for Thailand on September 9th.
If you feel like your brain is spinning from reading those last two sentences, believe me, I know the feeling…
I’m coming at you live from THAILAND.
Two weeks ago, I was in Bellingham working a full time job, and now here I am, a twenty hour plane ride away, back on the mission field to serve in Thailand, Malaysia, India, and Costa Rica until next May.
For the past two weeks, I feel as if I’ve been standing on a sandy shore, watching the Lord swim out to my plans, my comfort zone, my “ships”, and light them ablaze. And I’m smiling, as the heat of the fire kisses my face and the smell of burning wood enters my nostrils. Because how could I not?
The Creator of the Universe answered a dream in my heart I had given up hope on. He’s placed me on a squad of racers who have taught me and inspired me so much already. He’s given me an incredible leadership team to work alongside. And all the while He’s whispered to me that He has been planning this since the beginning, that I’m right where I need to be, and that He’s equipped me to find my comfort in Him.
My ships are burning, but I’ve turned to face the path that lies before me and I’m ready to follow God into my next adventure.
Announcement: I am $2,485 away from being fully funded! If you would like to partner with me through donation as I serve this incredible group of 18-21 year olds and the countries we will be doing ministry in, I would be so honored! I could also use prayer for wisdom, peace, rest, and intimacy with the Lord at this time. I am inexplicably grateful to have y’all as my community back home. I couldn’t be here without your support, and I’m consistently amazed that I get to watch and report back on how God uses your donations and prayers to change lives half way across the world! Feel free subscribe to my blog and receive email updates when I post to follow the journey of the Lord’s narrative in the beautiful lives of Y Squad and the countries we will be partnering with.
