First of all, I must sincerely apologize for not blogging in a few weeks. It has been a crazy time full of leaving one ministry, attending the Awakening conference, debrief, team changes, travel days, and starting a new ministry in a new country. Fear not though, I have every intention of catching you up on all the details of what life has been like and how the Lord is moving!
Awaken Me
When we left our little island outside of Phnom Penh, we took a six hour bus ride to Siem Reap to meet up with two other squads, Adventures in Missions staff, and ministry hosts from throughout Cambodia for a three day conference called the Awakening. I had no idea what to expect walking into these three days, and honestly didn’t know what the point really was of us even being there. My brain was just so focused on getting through the Awakening so we could move on to debrief and finally know what our new teams looked like. The Lord convicted me of my attitude and tendency to overlook the things he could do through the Awakening shortly after getting to my room at our hostel. I was laying on the floor, getting my first taste of air conditioning in a month (Asia is a literal sauna this time of year) when the Lord said, “I want to show you some things.” My initial and automatic response was, “Sweet, show me!” The Lord told me I needed to do some things first. He said I needed to make him my first and last priority of the day. I needed to spend the first 15 minutes of the day in scripture before my feet even hit the floor in the morning, and the last 15 minutes of the day in prayer with the girls in my room each night. (Shoutout to whoever made the room assignments and put the wonderful ladies I roomed with back at launch in the same room for Awakening. It was a true blessing!) So, I brought these things to the attention of the girls in my room and they happily dove in with me!
Day 1
We had a worship session and explanation of the conference, vision, speaker, topics we would discuss, rules, etc. Then we just had some hang out time with everyone. Nothing too eventful. Just a typical first evening of any conference.
Day 2
We started the morning in scripture. I was finishing up the book of John. We then had a morning worship session in which the Lord revealed the first of many things he had promised to me. “Danielle, I have given you gifts that you aren’t using because you fear man more than you fear me.” My first thought was “Wow, God! Harsh!” But when I took a second to think deeper into it, I realized just how true his statement was. (I know. I know. Shocker, right!? The God who IS truth didn’t lie to me.) So that afternoon during our intercession team breakout, we were praying in groups with people from other squads. The question we were asked right before prayer was, “What is the Jericho the Lord wants to demolish in your life?” Immediately, I knew my Jericho was the fear of man that had prevented me from using the gifts the Lord had given me for so long. So, the ladies I was partnered with graciously prayed over me, and I took a big step in letting this fear go. The Lord had so much more in store for me, though. During the night session later that day, I got yet another stomach bug, and had to go back to my room. I was forced to miss the session and I was furious. I was laying on my bed pouting about having to miss yet another thing because my stomach and Asia do not getting along when the Lord told me to focus on him and let him continue the work he started earlier in the day. He reminded me that other peoples response to the things he is asking me to do are not my responsibility. My responsibility is to be bold in obeying what he is calling me to do in very moment. Period. No matter the cost. Be it reputation, comfort, or persecution, I am called to walk in his holy boldness. He told me to leave this fear at the foot of the cross, and he told me to pick my gifts back up. So, I took a leap of faith and picked my giftings back up. The giftings I thought he had taken from me forever due to my fear, were suddenly being freely offered back to me through his loving grace.
Day 3
We had a morning session where we wrote notes and did listening prayer for a random racer from another squad. Then we headed to our breakout sessions. The intercession team decided to do listening prayer for each other, and suddenly the Lord was using me as a vessel for his words again. He was revealing to me things that he wanted me to share with individuals, and it was incredible. He hadn’t given me words for people since college. I was astonished at his power and faithfulness, and so overcome with joy. That afternoon, we had the opportunity to participate in one of three different mission opportunities. I however, was still battling stomach issues and had to stay behind. By the time everyone returned that afternoon, I found myself feeling incredibly discouraged that the Lord had started this amazing work in my life but I couldn’t do anything with it because I kept getting sick. Luckily, I was able to pull myself together enough to go to women’s time that evening and hear the encouragement of our squad mentor, Beka, and another squad mentor who helped train our squad at training camp, Erika. They both are incredible women of God and I am so thankful for their influence.
That night, we were told we would have worship, a short session, and then we would head to the pool for some baptisms. Worship was incredible. The Lord continued to give me words for people and lead me to people to pray for. The band then started to play the song “Oceans” and Erika stood up and said, “This song is a dangerous prayer so don’t sing it if you don’t mean it!” In that moment, I felt the Lord beckoning me to stop standing under the shelter where it was safe and dry and to go sing praises to him in the midst of the rain storm. He literally rained his mercy down on meas he redeemed my gifts, and called me deeper. He called me to keep my eyes fixed on his, and he reminded me that he never has and never will leave me. He told me that my gifts are a beautiful part of the body, and I’m not an exception to the rule. He reminded me how much I was loved, and how much he has in store for my future and journey with him. In these moments, the Lord called me out of the old covenant promises and into the new covenant. I was literally overcome by his presence, and the night was nowhere near over. I knew that even though I had come a long way with God that day, but I also knew he wasn’t finished. He was still calling me deeper.
The rest of the night deserves a new blog in and of itself. Amazing things happened as I walked into the Lord’s new covenant promises. Jesus blew me away and left me in amazement of his goodness. Stay tuned, folks!
*Fundraising update: I’m down to needing just $1,611 to be FULLY FUNDED! I need these funds, ASAP. Will you join me in prayer, and consider donating just $5 to sponsor one day of food for me this month while I’m in Thailand? You can simply click the donate button above.
