The past few weeks have been crazy. My mom had surgery, I got rid of most of what I owned and put the rest in storage, fundraising has been overwhelmingly difficult, I got hired to work at a camp for missionary kids totally last minute, my roommate got married, and I move in four days. Needless to say, life has been a roller coaster full of change lately. I had not had time to stop and process anything that was happening until I was on my way home from dropping my friend off at the bus station after my roommate’s wedding. Then, in the middle of a traffic jam, I lost it.
Was it scary to get rid of most of what I own? Yes, but I’m adjusting. Am I frustrated with raising support? Yes, but I know that the Lord will provide in his timing and in ways I cannot see now. Was working at a camp for missionary kids an unexpectedly incredible experience? Yes, and great prep for the race as well. I cannot talk more highly of that experience. Am I extremely excited for my roommate and her new husband? ABSO-FREAKING-LUTELY! Is it weird to officially be the only unmarried person amongst the friends I spend most of my time with? ABSO-FREAKING-LUTELY. Does the thought of leaving the town I’ve called home for the last four years scare me and excite me all at once? Yes, yes, and yes.
I was in no way emotionally prepared for all that life was throwing at me. I knew big changes were coming, but I did not realized just how deeply I was going to feel their impact. I cried of sadness because one amazing chapter of my life is closing. I cried of happiness because a new chapter of my life is only beginning and I know it will be spectacular. I cried of frustration because I’m not seeing the Lord’s promise of provision come through just yet. I cried with my Father while he reminded me of his many promises. I cried while he wrapped me in his arms and lavished his perfect love that I so desperately needed upon me. I handed over my worries about the upcoming transitions, about fundraising, about team building, and about the uncertainty of the next year and a half of my life.
I’m going to be honest, although being on the mission field is a place that I know the Lord has called me, it is also slightly terrifying to me. Preparing to be on the mission field is harder than I expected and has brought about more change than I was ready for. But through all of that, I have more deeply discovered that I cannot do this alone. There is absolutely no way I can handle this incredible journey by my own strength. I was never meant to. I need partners, encouragers, and a support system that goes with me (in several different ways) wherever the Lord calls me. That’s the way the Lord designed Christian life. None of us can fully complete the call the Lord has placed on our lives without community. We were created out of community (the trinity) and for community, just like we were created on purpose and for a purpose.
Thankfully, I have some people that the Lord has already faithfully placed in my life to help me with these beginning transitions of race preparations. (Shoutout to Lisa for the last minute hug I needed while on the way home that day.) Because of the Lord’s faithfulness shining through them, I know that he will continue building a team of people that I can rely on throughout this journey and beyond. This isn’t just my journey with the Lord, although I will be the one on the ground, this journey is ours, my whole support system’s. Each of you are vital to this mission, and I know that because of your support many people around the world will get to experience the radical, life-changing, and comforting love of the Lord. That fact alone makes all the transitions, struggles, and trials of race preparations totally and completely worth it.
