Hey Y’all!
I just kinda wanted to share what this past month has looked like in this new role and why I’m here and feel like I’m right where I need to be.
I know that to a lot of people it may not make sense what I am doing or you honestly may not even care so I just wanted to go through that and what it means to me to be here.
As most of you know, I just completed this journey last year in November. I spent 11 months out traveling the world, doing amazing things alongside people that are impacting many parts of this world, growing out of brokenness and stepping into refinement and true calling, making lifelong friends both within my squad and around the world, and so much more. I witnessed many great things and got to be a part of so many of them in the name of Christ and I just craved more. I wanted to impart all that I had learned and am still learning with people crazy enough to say goodbye to their comfort and say YES to the calling God had placed on their hearts.
Hear me on this just because God called us doesn’t meant it’s always easy.
It is so hard to hear from others that the brokenness you’re walking in is very noticeable and is negatively affecting the way you love people. BUT IT HURTS SO GOOD. I got the proper tools given to me to walk out of bad habits and toxic mental health that I had walked in for 20+ years.
It is hard to see the injustice and genuine pain that is going on around the world. The brokenness is carried in almost every persons eyes and you can look at them and feel the soul-draining journey they’ve walked through. It’s not easy to see the women lined up down every street ready and sometimes willing to sell their bodies to provide for their families or the people that have forced them into this.
It’s hard to leave home kinda financially stable and return home BROKE. It’s hard to look at $17,000 or $6,500 and wonder is it really even possible. Is this really worth it. Worth the crying when nothing seems to work or when you have to shout for joy and dance because the Lord used someones $5 donation to confirm you’re right where He wants you to be.
It is hard to say goodbye every month to people who take you in just like family and love you so well and show you their hearts for the ministry that they feel a God has called them to and show you their country that they love and have given their all to help better in various different ways.
Bottom line: these things are heartbreaking and draining but one thing I have found out is that it is indeed worth every one of these things and much more
When a child comes running up to you because they know and feel that you’re good and safe and they just hug you so tightly that you’re not sure if they know they actually have to let go eventually.
When a family receives food from strangers and cries tears of joy over an answered prayer.
When a Muslim man decides that he can Surrender his life to Jesus and receive true freedom in pursuing him that he can’t contain his joy anymore.
When a family decides that they’re going to give all that they have to Jesus and trust in Him and you can see the weight lifted off their shoulders.
When a woman asks for money and kisses your hand and in return you give her all that you have and kiss her back and she bawls into tears because it’s been years since someone treated her like the sister she is.
When you change someone’s views on Christianity because they’ve been hurt by the church before and have been turned off to God and whatever He has to offer.
When you get to leave a host and they feel energized and reignited to get back into what God has truly called them to.
All of these things happen over here and I want to be a part of it. There is nothing small about what any of us do when it’s for the sake of the kingdom so I dont write all of this for you to compare your impact vs mine. I just say this to make you aware of my new normal. I intend to carry this with me whether I’m abroad or back in the good ol US of A and I just want you to know that we are all in this together. I wouldnt be here without your YES either!
Then to say this: I LOVE THIS ROLE. I get to come alongside believers and help point them back to Jesus and to truly seek what He has for th and what He has placed in them to share with others. I also get to say the hard things that call them higher into the greatness that God made them in. I get to see them witness miracles for the first time and I get to see their passion for the things that break their hearts. I get to intercede on their behalf and give them all that I have to offer. This blog kinda turned into something different than I intended but I think it’s what it needs to be. I want to be a part of the change happening in the world. The Good Change. and in this season I am right where I need to be in order to do that. Thank you, donor(& God duh), for getting me here.
if YOU want to be a part of that change please click the donate button at the top of my blog site! I’m about $5,000 away from my goal and I’d love to be able to continue this crazy beautiful journey that I’m on!
