What does it look like to surrender completely to the will of the Father?
(Seriously, please post your answers in the comment tab)
This is something I have struggled with for my entire race and well before it. Here’s the truth: I still don’t know. I have in my head what I think it should look like, and have these expectations and measurements that I can’t quite grasp or ever reach for myself.
It is so true, that I have experienced a tremendous amount of healing and breakthrough with God in myself. I know for a fact that I have changed and that I am walking out of this thing a lot different than how I came in. So, what now, I keep thinking. What happens when I get home? What happens now that I’m going back out? What happens after that?
How am I going to keep striving for intimacy with the Father when my community and life will look drastically different? Who will I be when old temptations and habits try to come back around? Will I stand for my beliefs or will I be swayed by the ways of this world? Can anyone else relate to these questions? Should I be Miss Perfect when I go home to be sure everyone will know that I have changed? What if nobody notices? What if my family doesn’t like the new me? Who is the new me? How will she react differently than she use to? How have I changed really? How will I love others better?
These are a few of the questions that run through my mind every.single.day. It’s the soundtrack that keeps trying to play on repeat. Then I stop and say: “I will obsess over nothing but Christ alone” (shout-out to Ruth for that prayer) and I try to re-center. Our minds are incredibly powerful and our thought-lives very much effect our actual lives. If we’re anxious and worrying all the time mentally that’s exactly how we will react and respond physically. If our thoughts are consumed with the future, our actions and listening will reflect that as well. If our thoughts are focused on Jesus and clinging to His truth in the midst of chaos, you can bet your bottom dollar that’s what our actions will reflect.
So how do I surrender completely? How do I let go FULLY? Well here’s the answer I got for myself and from the Lord: Don’t worry about the how.
Ahhh yesss, good answer God. That’s exactly what I needed to hear. What?! No.
So I shared this with a teammate (Candyea) and asked what her thoughts were about it and she blew me away with her answer: “What if you’re not supposed to focus on what you’re letting go of but supposed to focus on what it is you want to hold onto?”
YOU HAD BETTA PREACH GIRL
So I sat down with the Lord and start journaling just that. Not focusing on what I want to let go of, but zoning in on what I actually want to grasp. Which is funny because I actually got this the other day and didn’t know where it came from, but I wrote it down anyways:
•Keep the faith
•Hold what’s good
•Grasp His love
I realize that’s what I needed. God asked me how could I walk hand in hand with Him if my hands were full of these things that I wasn’t meant to carry. I had to stop because I hadn’t realized that I was carrying most of these things. I didn’t receive some overnight healing and transition, but I did receive a word and I received wisdom for how I need to begin my days, and that’s by focusing on what I want in my hands that day. Does that mean it’s easy? Absolutely not!! It is something I am aware of now, though, so I can ask myself: Am I going to pick up that filthy old luggage that I no longer need or am I going to grasp the hands of my Father?
If you gladly chose surrender, so will I
