Sitting on the beach

The waves are rolling in and my mind is going a million miles a second

35 days till I am home

I am sitting here as the waves crack on the sand and I can’t help but feel

SCARED

LOST

HOPELESS

CONFUSED

UNSURE.

As the waves keep coming and the sand in my mind begins to weaken at the crack of the ocean I feel thoughts of

WHAT IFS

HOW COMES

SO WHATS

WHY.

As I call the people I love the most and continue staring at the ocean i feel the need to turn and to pray.

To pray about

MORE TIME

PATIENCE

WORRIES

EXCITEMENTS

REGRETS.

As my mind begins to flood with more and my body begins to weaken inside…

I hear a voice

I hear a sound

I hear a hope

I hear it now…

His name is

J E S U S

The new born baby king

The one who took my sins away

The man that created everything

He came down from the heaven so high and reached right now to my mind glancing at the ocean and spoke in a ROUGH AND BOLD

Whisper.

Courtney my dear child why are you fretting? What do you have to worry?”

As my mind starts to run and the ocean starts to rise I feel my heart beating

Faster

And my mind racing

Faster

And my fear dwindling

Faster

And my hope rising

Faster

And my peace coming

Faster

And I hear

Courtney you are my child. Why are you doubting my plans?”

My heart beat skips

My heart beat runs

My heart beat jumps

As my FATHERS words are spoken over me.

Courtney… my child… my plans are better than yours”

My eyes are glued

My ears are listening

My heart is captivated

You are stronger than you think you are. With me, you can do all things. Without me you can do nothing. Invite me in now and see the change that will come.”

I feel my body melting

The waves quiet down

The earth becomes still

That fear you have inside. The mind that is running wild. That worry that is creeping in… know that it is not from me. I am here to bring you peace and understanding. You cannot tackle this on your own. My plans are greater. My ways are better. I will not harm you. Do you trust me? Do you believe me? Have I failed you yet?”

I feel that YES in my spirit

I feel that tug of the heart

I feel that worry dwindle away

I feel that fear flee

I see the sun on the horizon

I see the birds flying by at ease

I see the clouds go away

I hear the wind start to slow

I hear the birds chirping faster

I just felt the love of GOD

So here I am…

Ready to fly

Ready to run

Ready to just live

Ready to let go

Ready to release

That YES in my spirit is there and it’s strong

and it’s time

and it’s ready

To let the lord take over in these next 35 days.

Heart open

Mind cleared

Eyes set above

I’m ready for you Jesus

I surrender it all to you