Coming on the race I knew I would have to face fears and I would be challenged in ways i hadn’t been before. I knew that this journey was more about surrendering to self than changing other people. I knew that Jesus was ganna rock my world and that he was ganna do a work in my heart.
I didn’t know I would have my fears erased.
9 months ago I rolled my truck 8 times, was paralyzed for a short while, had to be rescued and cut out of my truck, broke/injured a few bones, and had other trauma… but was able to walk out of the hospital a short while later.
9 months ago I remember feeling the most fear I have ever experienced and fear I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.
I am currently finishing up month 3 of this crazy 9 month journey and I finally have found freedom from the fear that once trapped me.
You see, for the longest time even after I was back to my normal “courtney self” after the accident I still was terrified of driving and being in a vehicle. Slowly but surely the fear mild down and I was able to drive to where I needed to go and get in the car with other people driving. Even though the slightest mistake a person would make or the mildest surprise while driving would scare me, I could do it.
While being on the race I have had to ride in the sketchy Tuk Tuks of India, the FLYING public buses up mountains in Nepal, and this month I have done something I never ever thought I would do.
Starting this month I told myself that I was going to remove my fear and that this month, and the rest of my race, would be the start of no more fear. So…. when the opportunity arose for me to stand in the back of a truck going very very very fast down hills and rocky roads and the public highway… I said yes.
The beginning of this month I got scared riding in the front seat of the truck and now at the end I was able to laugh while I held on for dear life to the roof as I was flying down the roads and hills. Me and two of my teammates honestly thought we were going to be thrown out of the vehicle or would lose our balance in multiple moments if the ride….. but the amount of PEACE I felt was insane.
As the wind was rushing through my hair, the sun was beating on the dirt, the truck shook under me, the bar I was holding onto got slippery, me and my teammates began to scream, the adrenaline started rushing and my smile began to grow on my face… I knew only God could create such a perfect moment considering the circumstances.
My teammate Sami looked over at me and said “I didn’t think you were going to actually do it when they asked us if we wanted too… but I am so so proud of you” .
And honestly, when she said those words it meant more to me than anything else in the entire world. The fact that not only was I proud of myself for doing that… one of my best friends and someone I would consider a sister rather than a teammate was proud of me too.
When I was on the back of that truck I prayed quietly to myself. “God this is the start of my fear being removed so in your name I need you to take it away from me. From this moment on let my story be a story with a happy ending rather than a story that ends and begins with crippling fear. God you are mighty and you are good so let this joy I am feeling now stay in my heart forever and let the fear that once crippled me, free someone else.”
A few days later we went to a hospital to do hospital ministry and I was able to share my story and help teach someone about faith and how to remove fear.
A day after that I shared my story to a girls orphanage home and was able to encourage them with how powerful our God is.
And I know I will be able to continue sharing Gods mighty and powerful love more and more as this race continues. I know that God is going to use this as such a powerful testament to his faithfulness and plans for us. I know that the fear I once had might come back in small bits, but the Lord will use those times to show me that just as quickly as he removed the fear this time… he will do it again and again and again.
If any of you have fear in your lives that cripples you, or you have questions about what faith looks like and is, or you just have any questions for me in general, please reach out to me. I don’t get wifi very often but when I do I would LOVE to answer any questions you guys might have. If I am able to help even a single person back home in America by being on the race, even if I don’t know them personally, I would be so so happy.
*****Prayer requests*****
-My squad leaves soon for ZAMBIA so please pray for safe travels and happy hearts as we leave Zimbabwe.
-Pray we will pour out everything we have in this remaining week in Zimbabwe and that the Lord will bless and use it
-Pray for my heart as I continue to navigate this crazy season in my life and continue to learn and grow in so many things
I love you all so so so so much! Thanks for reading! Thanks for supporting! Thanks for being the coolest people ever! Jesus loves you! Have a nice day!
