Hey everyone! This blog is going to be little more vulnerable than the one prior because the gravity of what I am stepping into is becoming more and more real, and feeling less and less like a dream.
There is no doubt, what so ever, that leaving to go to India next week is what God has called me too in this season of my life. God has provided the funds, the support, the opportunity, and has opened up the gates for me to go. I feel his presence in every aspect of this journey so far which makes me feel 100% confirmed in my choice to take this giant leap of faith. But just because I know this is Gods plan doesn’t make me not have worry.
I have spent over a year preparing for this crazy journey and now that it is so close is crazy weird and crazy exciting and crazy overwhelming. I am leaving the country for almost a year going to some of the most dangerous places doing really hard and challenging things all before I even turn 20. I turn 19 the day after I arrive at launch on the 7th which means by the time I am 20 I would have been to the Dominican Republic 3 times, travelled to over 7 countries on over 3 continents doing various types of missions work, and given a full year of my life dedicating my time to full time ministry. Even typing that out doesn’t seem real and doesn’t make since. I have dreamed this could be my life and now that it is finally becoming a reality… makes my heart pump, mind skip a beat, and I overwhelmingly feel Gods hand in this.
Even though I am crazy excited and I have fully given this to God, that doesn’t mean satan can’t still try to attack (I purposing didn’t capitalize his name because he doesn’t deserve that). satan is a slimy snake that loves to devour on people that live passionately for Christ because he wants to break that bond and remove that connection. He doesn’t want us to have that connection with God or to build up his kingdom so he attacks us and attacks us hard. I feel his attacks on me right now. As I continue to prepare for this journey there is still a lot I have to gather, pack and do. Its becoming overwhelming and its starting to bog me down. I am seeing my bank account slowly dwindle away as I buy things I need which makes having fun with my friends before I leave a heightened struggle. Without money its hard to do things! I am seeing my parents slowly becoming more and more sad as the time for me to leave gets closer and closer. I am seeing myself have moments of panic as I think of situations I might be put in on the race. I am seeing a cloud slowly come down around me for the reasons I listed and reasons I didn’t list. I am seeing my teammates struggling with clouds of their own starting to come down around them too. Its hard leaving home in general in this stage of life I am in… but its even harder knowing I can’t come home for any holidays, I may not be “just a phone call away” depending on the places I will be at, I am not only moving away from my home… I am moving around the world, and I am going to be pushed completely outside of my bubble of comfort day in an day out.
But just because I am struggling doesn’t mean I am defeated. I am the child of the one true KING. MY GOD HAS RISEN FROM THE DEAD, HAS SET THE CAPTIVES FREE, AND LIVES INSIDE OF ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I CAN DO HARD THINGS THROUGH CHRIST CAUSE HE GIVES US STRENGTH (thank you to the hike at training camp that taught me that)!!
Even though I am hitting a rough spot in the road doesn’t mean I stop or doesn’t mean this is not what I am suppose to do. In life I am going to continue to have hardships and struggles and I need to continue to lean on God through it all and stay in a fully surrendered mindset of trust in his plans for me. Is that hard? Yes. Is it hard right now? Yes. Can God bring me through? YES!!!
Now that I have had my little pity party for myself and kind of ranted, I am going to ask you guys to join me in something. All of these things I just listed are things that can easily hender my race and my journey. They are things I easily can pray about and deal with on my own and with God in private … but its something that I don’t want to deal with on my own. As my supporters financially or otherwise, you have joined this World Race journey too. You have said a big “YES” to God when you donated, committed to praying for me or by simply subscribing to this blog. You guys are my support system throughout this journey. I am going to be writing super happy blogs, funny blogs, serious blogs, sad blogs, and hard blogs but through it all I want to ask you guys to stay in continued prayer for me, my team of 6, and squad of 42. I will be writing a prayer request section at the bottom of every blog from now on. If prayer isn’t your thing and that makes you uncomfortable, that is totally okay! I am going to ask you to please not unsubscribe from my blog and to please just simply stay tuned as I blog about my journey with God through this next season of my life. This is going to be a crazy ride ahead but I am so so so excited to bring you all along for the journey!!
I do feel like I need to add something to this blog before I wrap it up. If any of you need prayer for anything there is a “contact me” tab to the left and that will shoot me an email and I would LOVE to pray for you. Even if you guys just want to say hi or tell me something you can use that tab also! I may get homesick in this next season of my life so don’t hesitate to click that tab and say hi! 🙂
Thank you all for your continued support and love! This has already been a crazy journey and its only going to get crazier so thank you for following along and joining me in this!
I love you all! GOD BLESS! 🙂
