I miss home. I miss my bed. I miss having a variety of clothes to pick from everyday. I miss my friends. I miss my family. I miss going for a drive in my car alone. I miss lasagna, and a bunch of other random foods that are impossible to find overseas. There are a lot of different things I have been missing lately. And after being on the field for 9 months, missing these things becomes all the more real.
I have really been trying to focus on staying present (partially why I haven’t blogged in so long), and not looking forward to the thing that I will do when I get back home. It is so easy to sit around with squadmates and have the conversation of things we miss and can’t wait to do once we are home. I can’t wait to drive my car, have new clothes, eat any food I want, etc fill in the blank with american comforts.
But the other day, I was sitting there, and the thought that came to my mind was how much I will miss this life. This crazy adventure that has become my normal life. How much I will miss these amazing 23 brothers and sisters in Christ that have become some of my best friends. The people that have supported me like crazy for the past 9 months. People that have called me higher and not let me stay in the victim circle, fought for me, loved me so well, and have shown me what the body of Christ can look like. I will miss the lack of schedule, and knowing what is really happening around me. I will miss the cultural, sometimes questionable food, sleeping on the floor, learning different languages only to be able to remember one or two words, crazy cool adventures, seeing the world, and meeting incredible people along the way. I will miss this like crazy.
But I have come to learn that every season of life comes to an end for a new season to start. That the Lord is using this season of life to shape me, mold me, and change me into the person that He has created me to be. He has used this incredible season of life to show me His love, His goodness, and just how real He truly is. I wish I could put into words every lesson that He has taught me, but I don’t think I could do it justice.
I want to take every lesson, challenge, celebration, joy, and triumph with me on to whatever season of life is next. To use it, and not let the growth, and the lessons I have learned be in vain but to look back on it and see just how good the Lord is. I want to apply it to my next season, and use it to continually grow.
I want to take the next two months, and really soak up every moment. To stay present, to really fight for getting the most out of this incredible season of life God has placed me in. I look forward to home, seeing my family and friends, driving my car, and all that home has to offer. But I am looking forward even more to taking all the things I have learned and applying it to my life at home. To continue to make my life ministry, and do so even in a new-old environment.
So wherever you are, be present. Look forward, but don’t look so far ahead that you miss what God is doing in this season. Learn from this season, and soak every drop of it up. Don’t let it go to waste.
“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”
Matthew 6: 25-34
Ministry update:
Sorry I have not updated y’all and blogged lately. It has been a very busy couple of months. About a month ago, we had PVT. It was awesome to have my mom come out to India and experience this life with me. (Hopefully I will be posting a blog soon about what this was like for my mom and I, and what the Lord taught me.) After PVT we traveled to Thailand, had debrief- a couple days to be refilled, relax, and get ready for the next month of ministry. Then we had an Awakening- a 3 day conference with other squad who are in the same area of the world at the same time. We got to listen to incredible speakers, pour into other people that are at different points of the race, worship together, and do ministry together.
This month we are in Chiang Mai, Thailand. It is all-squad month, so all 24 of us are living in a hostel, doing ministry together, and having an awesome time. We are working with the AIM base this month. Everyone is doing something different from helping at a special needs orphanage, working around the hostel, or doing ATL (ask the Lord). It is awesome to see everyone stepping into their passions and making ministry through that. Such a fun month!
