At the beginning of each country, I ask God to highlight a particular word to me as my main focus for that month. Call it a theme or an intention word, it’s usually a lesson the Lord wants to bring me through during that time. I believe that one of the greatest gifts from God is His willingness to take us through seasons. In these seasons, he teaches us in order to strengthen our faith in Him. So when I arrived in Nicaragua early October, God revealed one word in multiple ways to me, making his intentions quite clear—He wanted to teach me what it meant to SURRENDER.
AHH, what a terrifying word! God, remember back in Swaziland when you taught me about rest? Yeah, I liked that lesson a lot. But surrender…. are you sure?! Obviously I wasn’t jumping up and down with joy about it because I knew that it was a tough season to come. But I trusted His voice and wrote out my heart cry in my journal:
“God, I give you this month ahead. Lead me into a life where I pursue you in everything because I am made for more Lord Jesus. Speak to me and show me what it means to simply sit at your feet. How can I be enraptured in your presence Lord when my mind is constantly circling with thoughts? You created my mind uniquely and know my heart Lord. I like to plan! I know you are pleased when I use my abilities to serve your Kingdom Lord but I also think you want to bring me into a new stretching season where I learn what it means to be completely still and allow you to take my future captive. But I don’t know how to do this God and I’m terrified! Living in surrender goes against all of my natural instincts. So lead me Lord. Guide my every step. Grow my trust and intimacy with you in this new season of surrender. I love you Lord and I put all of my trust in you.”
After I wrapped my mind around the fact that God wanted to teach me surrender, I was left with the next main question—how on earth do I do this?! After talking with some people I love and trust, my grandma recommended reading the book Unseen by Sarah Hagerty and my squad leader recommended exploring the story of Martha and Mary in the New Testament. So I first opened up my Bible and began to read:
Luke 10:38-42
As Jesus and the disciples continued on their way to Jerusalem, they came to a certain village where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. Her sister, Mary, sat at the Lord’s feet, listening to what he taught. But Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing. She came to Jesus and said, “Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.” But the Lord said to her, “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.”
John 12:1-8
Six days before the Passover celebration began, Jesus arrived in Bethany, the home of Lazarus—the man he had raised from the dead. A dinner was prepared in Jesus’ honor. Martha served, and Lazarus was among those who ate with him. Then Mary took a twelve-ounce jar of expensive perfume made from essence of nard, and she anointed Jesus’ feet with it, wiping his feet with her hair. The house was filled with fragrance. But Judas, the disciple who would soon betray Jesus, said, “That perfume was worth a year’s wages. It should have been sold and the money given to the poor.” Not that he cared for the poor—he was a thief, and since he was in charge of the disciples’ money, he often stole some for himself. Jesus replied, “Leave her alone. She did this in preparation for my burial. You will always have the poor among you, but you will not always have me.”
In this story, Martha attempts to show Jesus her love through her actions. She is a servant, is hospitable and has a strong desire to tend to her guests’ needs. In contrast, Mary shows Jesus her love through giving him her full attention. Jesus clearly prefers Mary’s response—the woman that chose to forfeit productivity and risk judgement from others to simply sit with Jesus and learn from Him.
In modern society, we achieve success through our works. How well we do at our jobs, how much money we earn, how many awards and accolades adorn our walls, etc. Simply put, we like to do. From my Myers-Briggs personality type to my love language, God designed me to be a “doer”. I love working hard, staying busy, being productive, and doing things as they should be done. I see needs and meet needs. I show others love best by doing—whether it’s buying a friend coffee, washing the dishes, baking someone cookies, or helping with chores. It’s not out of duty or obligation, but it’s instinctual. So I completely relate with Martha. I find it hard to sit still, listen, and wait when I know there are looming needs that aren’t being met. In her book Unseen, Hagerty writes, “we live for what is right in front of us, while God is ever so gently calling us toward the unseen. His unseen. God designed us to hide in Him, not perform for Him” (CH 1).
Hagerty analyzes the story of Martha and Mary and breaks it down in a tangible and relatable way: “Martha scurried to serve, to show her love—and likely to prove her worth—by meeting the perceived needs of her guests. No doubt she was overwhelmed. But she was also distracted from what truly mattered. Mary’s choice was an act of radical love. She was so confident in God’s love for her that she sat at His feet and listened” (CH 2). She adds, “In Mary, we see what it means to waste ourselves on God. In situations we might otherwise avoid or resent—the fourth-floor cubicle, the back row of singers, the laundry room—God invites us, through Mary’s forever retold story, into an expression of radical love. The kind of unhinged love that lays everything at His feet whether or not anyone else ever sees, approves, or applauds” (CH 1). “Mary did what few of us will allow ourselves to do: she disregarded both the approval and disapproval of those around the table so she could give the most outwardly beautiful part of herself to Jesus. Mary let down her hair and elicited a gasp from those around her as she did. Yet with this one act, she inched herself away from self-protection and into the presence of God. Into a deeper surrender to Him” (CH 5).
Okay that’s great, she loved God really, really well. But what about being a good and faithful servant to Him? Or working for His Kingdom by making disciples? Isn’t that what we are called to do on this earth as God’s people? Hagerty explains, “we aren’t forfeiting outward impact for private devotion to God. We are submitting to the understanding that life in God isn’t about God’s needing us to do His work for Him or to do it under our own power. It is instead about a glory we can’t always measure. It is the work that happens beneath the surface, deep in the soil of our hearts, that in time produces a great harvest of fruit and growth” (CH 4). She adds, “hiddenness turns dutiful workers into lovers of God. At some point it became an easy decision for Mary to pour out her life savings on Jesus’ feet. To surrender herself there. She didn’t do it out of guilt or obligation. She did it out of a wildly extravagant love” (CH 7). “[And] lovers will always outwork workers” (CH 8).
We weren’t designed to perform a particular job or make a certain amount of money. We were designed to sit at the Lord’s feet and be captivated by His love. Mary’s greatest action was befriending God. She found Him, got near, and stayed. And we should too. “We become God’s friend when we listen for His heart and His soft whisper in His Word. Like Mary, we can tend to God—listening, tuning our ears to the cadence of His heartbeat, and spilling out our lives in response to what we hear. This is communion. Surrender of our lives, unto Him. He made us for this” (CH 13). Every single day we are bombarded with the surrounding needs of the world, but our greater need is to slow our response to these demands and cultivate a relationship with God. And once we have a deep friendship with the Lord, He will instruct us on how to respond to the world’s needs. He will give us wisdom, awaken our senses, and move our hearts when we lean into him.
So how do we surrender? We prioritize Jesus. Matthew 6:33 declares that our highest priority in life should be to “seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness.” Time spent with God may be titled “unproductive” by onlookers, but it is never time wasted. We must learn to sit with God just to enjoy Him. Every moment of life doesn’t have to be about changing the world or “doing” things to fill our lives, even if those things are glorifying to God. We must desire God’s heart above everything else. 1 Chronicles 16:11 says, “search for the Lord and for his strength; continually seek Him.” In order to fill others, we first must be filled by God. And that requires time spent with Him. So sit at His feet and see what He speaks to you.
It has been a month now since God challenged me to surrender to Him. While I am still a “doer” and I find it a struggle every single day to slow my mind, I take time every day, often cuddled up in a blanket with my bible in the mornings, to allow Him to share His heart with me. And I do the same in return. Sometimes He speaks through conversational prayer, other times through Scripture. Did you realize that when you hold a bible, you have God’s breath in your hands?! It’s more than a life-manual, it’s God exhaling His love on your life!! He wants to speak to you frequently. He wants to be your friend. He wants to guide and direct your steps. So invite Him to. Seek Him in your unseen moments. Your moments of hiddenness. When no one else is around. Speak to Him. Read His Word. See what He says.
